


Love from Eggsy

by zebraljb



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Anal Sex, Epistolary, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Child Abuse, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-03 15:15:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16328453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: Eggsy's written letters his whole life.  First to Father Christmas, and then to the biological father who would never receive them.  He admits his love and admiration for Harry Hart, thinking Harry will never see it...and then he does.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter of this story is in epistolary/journal form, but the rest is regular prose.

DEAR FATHER CHRISTMAS MY NAME IS EGGSY UNWIN. I AM 5. I WOULD LIKE A PUPPY AND A RACETRACK. I WOULD LIKE NEW TRAINERS AND A BOOK. MUM SAID I DON’T NEED TO MAIL THIS YOU WILL READ IT WITH MAGIC. SHE HELPED ME SPELL AND WRITE IT. PLEASE AND THANK YOU LOVE EGGSY.

 

DEAR FATHER CHRISTMAS MY NAME IS EGGSY UNWIN. I AM 6. I WOULD LIKE MY DAD BACK. I HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD SO PLEASE BRING HIM BACK. PLEASE AND THANK YOU LOVE EGGSY.

 

DEAR FATHER CHRISTMAS MY NAME IS EGGSY UNWIN. I AM EIGHT YEARS OLD. I STILL WANT MY DAD BACK. THAT’S ALL I WANT. I DON’T NEED TOYS I JUST WANT MY DAD. I WANT MY MUMMY TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. PLEASE AND THANK YOU LOVE EGGSY.

 

Father Christmas – my name is Eggsy Unwin. I’m ten. I’m pretty sure you ain’t real but just in case. My mum is sad and works hard. Sometimes she drinks. I know she doesn’t mean to yell but sometimes she does. Could you send us some money? I don’t need toys because they get stolen anyway. If you could bring mum something nice it would be great. I’m trying to be good. EGGSY

 

Father Christmas, don’t believe in you but I don’t got no one else to talk to. I’m 13, big enough to know there ain’t no Father Christmas and my dad ain’t coming back. You ain’t sent shite to us ever and I guess it’s up to me now. Mum’s last boyfriend gave her a black eye. I tried to hit him but he hit me back. She didn’t make him stop. Fuck you, Father Christmas. Last letter you’re getting from me. EGGSY

 

Dear Dad - It’s Eggsy. I barely remember you but I need to talk to someone. I think maybe you and me would have been mates if you were here. Well, maybe. You wouldn’t be very proud of things I’ve done, but what the fuck am I supposed to do Dad? I’m only 15 and we got no money. Mum won’t let me quit school, says I have to finish if it’s the only thing I do right in my life. She tries but we got no money and she got fired again because she called out. The wanker punched her in the stomach, Dad. I was so afraid, took her to the A&E, and thankfully she didn’t have any internal damage. I hope you watch and see the good things I do, Dad, I sang to her in the hospital and she said it helped. I want to help but I fuck things up, Dad. Sorry I said fuck, but I bet you said it too. Maybe you could be my guardian angel, huh, Dad? I need all the help I can get. If you were here, maybe life wouldn’t be so bad. Eggsy.

 

Dear Dad – I turned 16 today. Mum was acting crazy, hugging me and crying and calling me her big man. She says I have your smile. She saved up and we went for ice cream, it was nice. She tries, but just when I think things might turn around, she comes home drunk. I hate it when she’s drunk, Dad. I don’t want you to see it, but she lets guys do things to her. Things that I don’t want to know about. Things that make her forget you. Because she misses you like fuck, Dad. She starts a new job next week. Hope it sticks, cuz we need the money. Eggsy.

 

Dear Dad – Picked my first pocket today. Posh looking gent, had two hundred quid in his pocket. Was able to put the heat back on and even bring home fish and chips for dinner. Mum ain’t been home for two days, so I ate it all myself. I’m so full right now. I figure it ain’t a bad thing, cuz that gent was made of money and I ain’t got none. Mr. Monroe said the story I wrote was plagiarized, because no kid like me should be able to write that good. I told him to fuck off and got in trouble. I did write it, Dad. Mum says I have a crazy imagination and that I get it from you. I try to make her tell me other things I got from you but she don’t like talking about you much. I hope she comes home tonight. Eggsy.

 

Dear Dad – Made a new friend last week. His name is Jamal. Just moved into the neighborhood because his mum lost her job. He’s kinda quiet, but he’s funny, too. And his mum is nice, always offers me sweets. Dad isn’t home much. They don’t seem to mind if I hang out there a lot…Jamal’s met Dean. Always good to have a safe place to hide. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Mum has a new boyfriend, and I think this one’s sticking around. His name is Dean, and even though he ain’t you, at all, he’s all right. He bought me new trainers, and gave me a new music system for my room. Took me and Mum to dinner, and he was really funny. She likes him a lot. He doesn’t have a lot of money – he’s in private retail he says, whatever that means – but he seems to make enough to get by. I’m fine with getting by. Thanks for looking out for us. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Home alone tonight. Mum’s in the hospital. She burned dinner and Dean hit her in the arm with the frying pan. Broke it in two places. I wanted to kill him but she wouldn’t let me. He told me if I don’t shut my mouth he’ll shut it permanently. He scares me, Dad. I thought things would be better when he moved in but they’re much worse. He drinks all the time and gets high and now Mum does it too. His job? He nicks stuff and resells it. He also sells drugs, and he made me take some in and sell it after school. I done a lot of shite stuff, Dad, but I won’t never do drugs. I’m only 17, Dad, ain’t got nowhere else to go. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Drugs ain’t so bad really. Make it go away, makes it go under your skin so you forget about it. Everything goes quiet and you just feel the hum. It don’t hurt, the hum. Dean’s laughing at me but I don’t care. Like these pills, maybe he’ll give me more…gave me these for Christmas. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Dean says if I don’t sell more, I don’t get more. He also said if I don’t bring money in somehow, he’s putting Mum out on the corner. I won’t let that happen, Dad, swear down. I’ll kill that lazy fuck before I let him do that. I told him that and he punched me in the jaw. I can’t talk very well right now but that’s okay. Spending the night at Jamal’s. He’s a good mate, but I can’t tell him everything. I tried telling the social worker at school about everything and she sent the filth out. Dean wouldn’t let Mum feed me for two days after that. So you don’t grass. EVER. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Happy birthday to me. #18. Dean told me now he can throw me out whenever he wants. He says it all the time. Today wasn’t too bad, though. He was out with his boys and Mum made me pancakes for breakfast. She gave me a bracelet. I know it’s fake, but I also know she used her own money to buy it, so I promised I’d never take it off. Jamal got me a sick snapback, I think you’d like it. Do you look down at me, Dad? Do you see me? Are you ashamed of me? I know I shouldn’t do most of what I do. I steal, I lie, I use drugs, I sell drugs. But I don’t know what else to do. What else am I good for? Eggsy.

 

Dad – Your boy’s a man. Jamal has this bird he sees pretty often, and he set me up with her friend. She was cute I guess, but she only seemed to want one thing from me. Didn’t mind giving it to her, like I said, she was cute. But it was over fast, is it always like that? She was mad I didn’t have a condom but Jamal had an extra. I didn’t know I was getting laid today! She said I was good, but I think she was just being nice. I also think I don’t need to do it again anytime soon. I can tell you this, Dad, I know you’d understand. I think maybe I want a bloke, not a bird. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Been a while, sorry. I’ve been busy. I went into the Marines, thought I’d try to make something of my life. Get away from Dean. But Mum went ballistic, Dad. She still misses you, and she’s terrified I’ll get blasted into pieces the way you did. She almost had a breakdown on the phone, crying and begging me to come home. So I was discharged. Didn’t like it, but I will always come when she needs me. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Sucked my first dick today. Not exactly what you want to tell your dad, but there it is. Dean said a boy that looks like me is just what posh gents want. They like a pretty bit of rough. That’s me. He found me a spot on Smith Street, told me to behave and keep my teeth out of the way. Gent didn’t seem to care that he was my first. I cared. I cried later. But I’ll do it, no matter what. I’ll suck dicks and jack cocks, whatever it takes. Because Mum’s pregnant, Dad. She’s gonna have a baby, and that baby ain’t growing up like me. If I need to give blowies to keep that baby in nappies, it’s what I’ll do. But I ain’t never gonna kiss them, and I ain’t gonna let them fuck me. I don’t care what Dean says. I’m saving something for me. Eggsy.

 

Dad – She’s perfect. Absolutely perfect. She has these big blue eyes and these pudgy cheeks. She grabbed my finger and didn’t let go. She’s perfect. I know I said that, but she is. Her name is Daisy. Mum let me name her, since Dean didn’t even come to the hospital. It’s okay, though, because our family is me and Mum and Daisy. I would die for that little girl. Eggsy.

 

Dad – I feel like hell. Completely fucked. Told myself no more pills, no more weed. Gotta stay clean for Daisy. Quitting the weed ain’t so bad, but fuck, Dad, it hurts. She’s worth it, though. She smiled at me today. Really smiled. Made Dean mad because she don’t smile at him like that. He punched me and told me to stay in my room or he’d dig out my eyes. Could really use a pill, but no. Daisy needs me. Eggsy.

 

Dad – I know it’s been ages but you will never believe what just happened. Okay, you probably would, because first of all, I know you see everything. Second of all…this is what you were doing when you died? What the fuck, Dad? I call the number on the metal and some posh as fuck sexy as hell gent picks me up and takes me for a pint. Tells me he knew you, and then beat the ever loving hell out of Rottie and his boys. Was the best thing I’ve seen in years, let me tell you. And then when Dean threatens me with a cleaver, he saves me AGAIN. Harry Hart…he’s fucking magic, Dad. Been at Kingsman training for a week now. They came around and asked me if I wanted anything from home. The others all had suitcases and bags and I had shite. I asked for my knapsack with this book in it, and Harry said he’d get it. And he did. Without Dean or Mum knowing. This spy shite is for REAL, Dad. I’m gonna make you proud. I’m gonna make it through. I’m gonna shoot their guns and run their courses and take their tests. And I’m gonna shove it in Charlie’s face and Digby’s face and Dean’s face. Because I’m an Unwin, and we don’t quit. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Harry’s in a coma. He went on a mission and there was some sort of bomb or something, and he’s in a coma. Merlin, I know you remember him, he told me I could come visit when I have free time, and I make sure I have free time. I sit by Harry and hold his hand when no one’s around. We didn’t really get to know each other yet, but I know he’s special. Merlin told me to focus on my training and make Harry proud. And I’m gonna do that, Dad. I’m gonna make him proud, and make you proud. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Fuck I hurt. We were crawling around through the woods for hours it seems like, and everything hurts. Hugo got poison ivy and Charlie sat on a hornet’s nest. It was fucking spectacular. And then it got even BETTER. We got to pick a dog. I picked a bulldog, he was the best. Except he’s NOT a bulldog, he’s a pug. I named him JB, after Jack Bauer. Have you seen 24? I bet you have. It’s heaven, after all. Anyway, JB is the best. He loves me. I always wanted a dog. Used to ask Father Christmas for a puppy. If nothing else, I’ll have him when this is all said and done. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Harry’s awake. Thank God for me, please. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Got to visit with Harry for just a bit today. He looked good, except his hair was long. Would have teased him about it but Merlin showed up. He wanted to kick me out but Harry told me to stay. He’s a nice guy. Maybe more than nice. I might have a crush on him. Do you care? Does it bother you? I like to think that by now, you and me would be mates. I’d be able to tell you everything, and you’d just tell me you love me no matter what, and you want me to be happy, even with another man. I don’t know if you’d think that way about me liking Harry, though. He’s about fifty years older than me. Just kidding. Eggsy.

 

Dad – WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, DAD? I had to jump out of a plane. JUMP OUT OF A PLANE. And Merlin made us think someone didn’t get a parachute, and I just KNEW it was me. Poor Roxy was going ballistic but I helped her relax enough to get through it all. When we hit the ground I wanted to kiss it. I know you was looking out for me, right? Now it’s me, Roxy, and Charlie. Charlie’s a dick, but you know that already. They said we have to seduce some titled bird? That could be a problem…but I’ll do my level best, as Harry would say. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Charlie’s gone. Thank FUCK Charlie’s gone. But that ain’t the best part. The best part is that I get 24 hours alone with Harry. I’m waiting for him to meet me so we can go back to his place. Dunno how the night’s gonna go. Wonder what he’d do if I snuck into his bed? Probably beat the hell out of me in his sleep. Don’t worry, Dad, I’ll behave. Just wish…wish he could look at me and see something special. Like more than a candidate? I know he doesn’t think of me that way. I’m too young and stupid and cheap. He deserves caviar, I’m more fish fingers. But when he smiles at me and tells me “well done”, it makes my dick jump. He’s everything I want, not just everything I want to be. Eggsy.

 

Dad – They wanted me to shoot JB and I couldn’t. It was JB, Dad, the dog I always wanted. How could I kill him? It was blanks but I didn’t know that. So I’m out and Roxy’s Lancelot. Me and Harry had the biggest row. Like the biggest ever. We both said hateful fucking things, things that hurt. We already know what to say to hurt each other, sorta crazy, isn’t it? But before I could fix it, really apologize, he had to go. He looked at me with such – disappointment – that’s the best word. I hate disappointing him. I hate knowing that he’s angry with me. He said we’ll talk it out when he’s back, but what if we don’t? What if he never talks to me again? It would kill me, Dad. I can hack into his computer, watch his mission. Maybe learn a few things and he won’t be angry. Eggsy.

 

Harry’s dead. He’s dead, Dad. Fucking dead. I watched it. I saw it all. Valentine’s chip went off in his head and made him slaughter a church full of people. And then he came out and Valentine was waiting. He killed him. Shot him in the head. He’s dead. I can’t breathe, Dad, I can’t think. I need to get to HQ. I need to find Arthur, Merlin, someone. They need to know what happened. I can’t believe it. Harry’s gone and the last things I said to him were stupid and hateful. I’m the worst person in the world.

 

Dad – I’m so exhausted I can barely fucking think, but I need to talk to you. I’m sure you saw it all go down, but please tell me you’re proud of me. Saved the world, didn’t I? Bet you never thought your little Scrambled Eggs would do that. Wow. I forgot you used to call me that. You’d tickle me in bed and say I was your Scrambled Eggs. Fuck. That’s a good memory to have, right? Because I’d really rather forget the last day or so. Me and Merlin and Roxy, we did it. We stopped the madness, stopped the end of the world. I had to kill a lot of people, but I did it to save a lot of people – please say that’s okay. I’m so tired. Roxy went into space, Merlin flew a plane, and I was a posh gent. Which part of that is craziest? Oh yeah, fucked a princess, too, but for some reason that doesn’t seem to matter as much as everything else. I want a hot shower and I want my bed. I want to hug Daisy and Mum, and then I want to punch Dean in his fucking face. I only wish…I wish you could be here to tell me you’re proud of me. You and Harry. Eggsy. 

 

Dad – I miss Harry. It’s been two years, and I’m Agent Galahad now. I do great things and I have good friends and I have a nice house (I’m living in Harry’s house – I couldn’t bear to let someone else live there), but I miss him. I think of him a lot. I wonder if we’d go on missions together, or hang out at the pub. I spend a lot of time with Mum and Daisy, but at night when I’m sleeping alone, I miss him. Still haven’t had sex with anyone, believe it or not. No man is ever going to be Harry, Dad. Eggsy.

 

HOLY FUCK DAD HARRY IS ALIVE. We got the call he’s alive. I’m leaving now to go to the United States because he’s there. We have a sister agency and they saved him holy fuck. I know this makes no sense and I bet you can’t read my writing but fuck. HARRY IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!

 

Dad – It’s been a crazy couple of weeks that’s why I ain’t been writing to you much. We got Harry back home, and Merlin’s been working with our doctors to help him rehab as much as possible. He didn’t know us at first, couldn’t remember us at all. Thought he was younger than me, didn’t remember Kingsman or anything. But I helped him snap out of it. And when he hugged me, he looked at me and said my name and Christ, Dad, I officially fell in love with him. It’s most definitely not a crush anymore. I’ve been helping him as much as I can, working on his PT, doing some speech therapies with him. He lost his eye, and wears a patch, but I think it makes him look so sexy (sorry if that makes you itch, Dad…I know hearing your kid talk about sex must be weird). He walks with a limp, but each day it’s a little better. His eye-hand coordination is off, but we’re working on that, too. I immediately offered to give him back the title of Galahad, but I think we all know it can never happen, even if we don’t say it. I have a secret – I think Merlin’s looking to make Harry Arthur. He’d be fucking ACES, Dad. I would take orders from him any day. And now I’m blushing because that was NOT how I meant it, but it sure sounded dirty. Eggsy.

 

Dear Dad – Fuck the best and worst thing ever just happened. They’ve released Harry to live off-site, like out of HQ. I know he’s ready to start real life again. That’s great, but then I opened my mouth about Harry having his house back, and of course he argued that he didn’t need all that space, and he could take a Kingsman flat, and I argued back fuck that, he should have his stuff and his place, he’s lived there since the Stone Age. He and Merlin didn’t like that much.  Then Merlin jumped in and said why don’t we both live there for the time being, until Harry’s really on his feet again. So I’m living there. With Harry. Like all the time. Harry being right around the corner. All the time. Harry in the shower and me just a short distance away. Oh fuck, Dad, I think I’m gonna be wanking a LOT. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Harry has nightmares. We’ve been living together a month now, and he’s had them maybe seven or eight times. Not nightmares…night terrors. About Valentine, about the church. And I feel so helpless, Dad. I want to help him, but I don’t know if it’s welcome. I don’t mention them during the day, but he looks so exhausted after he has one. He had one last night, and this time I went into his bedroom. I just sat on the edge of his bed, and I…I started singing to him. Like I used to sing to Mum when she was sick or hurt? Like I sing to Daisy when she’s fussing. And it calmed him down. He twitched a little in his sleep, but it wasn’t as bad. And this morning he looked almost normal. I like helping him, like making him feel better. I like making him happy. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Sometimes I think Harry sees more in me than just a friend. He gives me a smile or a look or touches my shoulder. I ache for him, Dad. I want him to feel that way about me. But then he just acts like my mate, and I realize it will never happen. I really need to stop hoping. Eggsy.

 

Dad – I hate my friends. They’re fucking wankers, the lot of them. Well, maybe not Jamal. And definitely not Harry. NEVER Harry. We had people over last night for dinner, because it was Merlin’s birthday. Harry ordered in from this really nice restaurant. It was me and Harry, Merlin, Roxy, and Percival. Did you know him? He’s her uncle, and he and Merlin and Harry have been friends forever. So we were having a nice time, lighting candles and all that, and Roxy started asking Merlin what he wished for, and Percival said, probably to get laid, since it hasn’t happened since 1983. And they start arguing about it, and Harry starts teasing him, and they turn on him and start talking about all his honeypot missions and conquests outside of HQ. He looked embarrassed after that and I felt bad for him. But then Roxy starts in on ME, about how with my face and my body I probably got a lotta notches in my bedpost. It made me sound like a total slag and I had to lie, had to make a big deal of bragging about it, because I don’t want them – Harry especially – to know that I’m just a stupid virgin. And Harry looked disappointed and my night was ruined. I ain’t gonna let some bloke fuck me to just say I did it, Dad. Ain’t had no honeypot missions yet with men, so that’s good, but I don’t want to do that. I guess you know by now that I want him to be my first, Dad. I love him so much, he’s such an amazing man, and I just get the feeling he’d take good fucking care of me, you know? He would be patient, and not be upset that I didn’t know what I was doing, and that I might be scared. Because you know (you probably DO) that he’s probably fucking PACKING, and it would probably hurt, but I want that. And then maybe, if he’d give me the chance, I could learn to be good at it (your boy’s a quick study), and he’d want it all the time. He’d want ME. Because I want him. I want Harry. I sound like some girl in a soap opera so I’m gonna shut up now. Eggsy.

 

Dad – Can’t take you with me on this mission. Gotta leave tonight, headed for China. Watch out for me, would you? This mission rubs me the wrong way, and I think Merlin’s even a bit nervous about it. And, as always, take care of Harry. Eggsy.


	2. Chapter 2

TWO

Harry lets the book fall from his lap as he sits stunned on Eggsy’s bed. JB yips at his feet, pushing at the book and growling at it. “No, Mr. Bauer,” Harry says faintly. “You mustn’t touch your master’s possessions.” He picks the book up and stares at it for a long time. “Mr. Bauer, how would you like a bit of a field trip?”

He moves through the house in a trance, gathering supplies for the dog and finally herding him into his crate. He puts on his jacket and heads for HQ. If anyone thinks it odd that Agent Galahad is striding through the building with a pet carrier, no one has the guts to say anything. He arrives at Merlin’s office and enters without knocking.

“Good afternoon, Harry, so nice to see you out of medical for a bit. Is…is that a dog?”

“Yes. It is. It’s Eggsy’s dog, Jack Bauer. JB.” Harry opens the crate and JB comes scampering out. He sniffs around the room and sits at Merlin’s feet. Merlin looks down at JB and up at Harry.

“Yes, of course it is. Should I ask?”

“He belongs here with his master. I will be taking him down to medical shortly, to see Eggsy.” Harry gets up and looks out Merlin’s window. 

“I’m sure Dr. Benner will LOVE that.” Merlin picks JB up and pets him.

“I really don’t care WHAT Dr. Benner loves. Eggsy deserves to see his dog.”

“All right, Harry.”

“Merlin, what do you know of Eggsy’s past?”

Merlin thinks for a moment. “We know about his father, of course, and his time in the Marines. His short rap sheet regarding petty theft and the like…he did a fairly good job of not getting caught.”

“So the criminal record is theft only?”

“Yes.”

“Of course. Because Kingsman doesn’t look at anything prior to age eighteen,” Harry muses. 

“No, we don’t, because it has very little to do with what a person might do as an adult. If we fear there’s some sort of problem, we might dredge it up. Why?”

Harry sighs and turns back from the window. “As you know, I went home to take care of JB. I thought I’d spend some time with him. It’s not…it’s not like Eggsy noticed I was gone.” He sits down across from Merlin. JB jumps from Merlin’s lap and hurries to Harry, who scoops him up. He absently plays with JB’s ears. “We were playing a bit and JB took off up the stairs before I could stop him. He went barreling into Eggsy’s room and hid under the bed. I wasn’t going to crawl around on the floor, of course, so I decided to sit and wait for him to come out. There was a book on Eggsy’s bed. A journal.” He wiped a hand over his face. “I know I shouldn’t have read it, but my curiosity got the best of me, I’m afraid.”

“Harry, you look…what was in that book?”

“It started when he was five…letters his mother helped him write to Father Christmas,” he replies. “At age six, he asked Father Christmas to bring his real father back.”

“Christ.” Merlin stares at him.

“And it progresses. He had to pick pockets to find money to keep the heat on, because his mother wasn’t working consistently, and often wasn’t home. He practically raised himself, according to his entries.”

“He continued to write to Father Christmas?”

“No.” Harry heaves a deep sigh. “He started addressing the entries to Lee.” Merlin makes a sympathetic face. “She met Dean Baker, as you know, and he started abusing them both.”

“We knew that, Harry,” Merlin says softly.

“Not like this. Baker hit Michelle with a frying pan and broke her arm, and threatened to kill Eggsy when he tried to retaliate. He forced Eggsy to sell drugs, and got him hooked on them as well. Offered them as a fucking Christmas gift,” Harry says angrily. He takes a few deep breaths and tries to control himself. “Dean Baker put Eggsy on a street corner at the age of eighteen to bring money in once Michelle became pregnant with Daisy.”

“Jesus, Harry, I had no clue,” Merlin says, shocked.

“Of course you didn’t. I didn’t either. That boy…that young man…he is so brave, so caring and loving. How did he manage to keep his sanity?”

“He called the number on the back of a medal,” Merlin reminds him.

“Thank God.” Harry sighs again, blushing a bit. “Do you remember the night I spoke to you about my feelings for Eggsy?”

“The night you were drunk off your arse on my sofa, writing odes to his thighs, singing the praise of his beautiful abdominal muscles? Yes, I faintly recall that,” Merlin says with a grin.

“Fuck off,” Harry snaps and Merlin chuckles. Harry looks down at JB. “Let us just say that my feelings were not exactly one-sided.”

“What?”

“Eggsy’s apparently had an interest in me that’s more than that of a trainee for quite a long time. I know I can trust you with this information, Merlin.”

“I’ll take it to the grave,” Merlin promises. “Well, Harry, this has been quite an informative afternoon, hasn’t it?”

“Quite.”

“And what will you do now?”

“Mr. Bauer and I will go visit Eggsy. And I will try to convince him that three weeks is quite long enough to be in a coma.”

 

“A dog in the medical unit?” Dr. Benner frowns at Harry.

“Dr. Benner, while I respect you and your profession, I must insist.” Harry’s voice is firm. “I am going in to see Agent Galahad, and his dog will be going with me.”

“Very well. I really cannot say no to Arthur.”

“If this would cause any danger to him medically I would want you to say no to me,” Harry tells him. The doctor nods and moves aside. Harry sighs as he looks at Eggsy. He’s pale and hooked up to far too many tubes and monitors. As he’d predicted, something wasn’t right about the mission to China. Merlin was given incomplete intel, and by the time they realized it Eggsy was in over his head. He was on his way to escaping when the building exploded, sending him flying across a parking lot and into a wall. Percival managed to extract him but the damage was already done. No broken bones, surprisingly, but a lot of bruises, cuts and a bit of brain damage. He’d been in a coma for over three weeks.

Harry holds JB up to look him in the eye. “Your master is a bit under the weather, Mr. Bauer. I need you to be very careful with him.” JB actually winks. Harry places him at the foot of the bed. JB sniffs the air a bit, sniffs Eggsy, and waddles up to rest by his right hip, burrowing close and laying his head on Eggsy’s leg. “That’s a good dog.” Harry removes his jacket, cuffs his sleeves and sits down next to the bed. He takes Eggsy’s hand. “I’m not quite sure what to say, my boy. It seems we have a lot to discuss…but I feel the discussion will go much more smoothly if there are two people involved.” Harry gently rubs his thumb over Eggsy’s knuckles.

Anyone with two good eyes and an interest in men would have noticed the beauty of Eggsy Unwin. Harry, unfortunately, had to notice it for the first time outside a police station. Eggsy was angry, cocky and insolent. But Harry immediately saw potential. Extreme loyalty, concern for those close to him, and even concern for Harry, someone he’d just met. When Harry listened in on Dean’s threats, he wanted to reach through the comm and choke the man. Instead he got Eggsy to Kingsman, and he was off and running after that.

The instant physical attraction soon turned much deeper. Harry valued Eggsy’s intelligence, his wit, his sense of humor. He adored the way Eggsy loved those close to him. From his sister to his dog to Merlin, Eggsy was devoted to the end. When Harry was pulled from the fog of his amnesia, he wasn’t at all surprised to see Eggsy standing in front of him. When he was recuperating from his head injury, he’d had a lot of time to reflect on Eggsy and how he felt about him. Living with him had been pure joy and complete unadulterated hell at the same time. Right in front of him, every single day, was the best thing in his life, and the one thing he absolutely could not have. This handsome young man, this angel with the filthy mouth and horrible grammar, would never possibly be interested in a broken old man like Harry.

Or so he’d thought.

“Yes, I think we have a few things to talk about, Eggsy.” Harry smiles as JB licks Eggsy’s hand. “I know I should not have read your private writings. I should probably apologize for that. But to know how you feel about me, that you value you me so much…it is an amazing gift.” He brings Eggsy’s hand up and kisses it.

He will not allow himself to think about the other things Eggsy’d written…about his virginal state and exactly who he wanted to change it. Harry isn’t ready to let his mind wander THERE.

 

Eggsy’s mind has been buzzing for days, incoherent sounds and words that he cannot focus on. He occasionally feels his body moved and shifted, and something wet keeps stroking over his hand. When he finally pushes through the fog and is able to concentrate, the first thing he hears is arguing. 

“There is no way you had three aces. No way at ALL.”

“Lancelot, are you accusing me of cheating?”

“Yes, I am. Arthur…”

“Check his sleeves. Perhaps he has a spare ace or two hidden up there?”

“Check YOUR sleeves, Harry.”

“I’m playing one-handed, Merlin. I’d love to know how I managed to slip a card up my sleeve. Especially when my sleeves are folded back.”

“Check Eggsy, then. Maybe you hid cards under HIM.”

“Merlin, are you really trying to accuse Arthur of hiding cards under a comatose person’s body?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him. I remember once in Monte Carlo when…”

“No one wants to hear that story, Merlin.”

“I do!” Roxy pipes up.

Eggsy thinks for a moment. Roxy. Merlin. Harry. Playing poker apparently. Harry’s playing one-handed…because his other hand is currently holding Eggsy’s. And at Eggsy’s other side is JB, cuddled up next to his hand and occasionally licking it. 

“I’d like to hear that story,” he rasps, coughing a bit.

Merlin and Roxy drop their cards and Harry drops his hand. “Eggsy?”

“If you’ve been usin’ me ta hide cards, Haz, I get a cut of the winnings.”

Merlin quickly disappears from the room. Roxy stands and stares at him, hand over her mouth. Tears start streaming down her cheeks. “Eggsy.” Harry’s voice is strange, and he actually brings Eggsy’s hand up to his mouth and kisses it. “My darling boy.”

“It’s okay, Rox, no need fer tha waterworks. Only been asleep a bit.”

“Over three weeks you fucking wanker,” she snaps. 

“Oh.” Eggsy blinks at that. He didn’t feel like he’d been asleep for three weeks.

JB starts yipping and jumping around. “Careful, Mr. Bauer. Remember our agreement.” Harry scoops him up and buries his face in JB’s head. Eggsy’s stunned to see Harry wipe away a tear. 

“Lemme give him a kiss, ‘arry,” Eggsy says. Harry holds him out and JB eagerly licks Eggsy’s face. “Hello, bruv. How’s my boy? Been good for Uncle ‘arry?”

“Uncle Harry?” Roxy and Harry say together.

“So I hear someone’s decided to return to the land of the living,” Dr. Benner announces as he walks in. “I need to ask all of you to leave.”

“But…” Eggsy protests.

“We’ll be right outside,” Harry promises. “You need to speak with the doctor, Galahad.”

“Yes, sir.” Eggsy smiles up at him. Harry gives such a warm smile in return that Eggsy’s heart rate jumps on the monitor.

“Out,” the doctor orders.

Eggsy allows the doctor to examine him and answers all the question. He starts to waver in and out; he’s more fatigued than he’d realized. He fights to stay awake and the doctor finally leaves. He can seem him outside the door speaking to Harry and Merlin. Harry nods and Merlin rolls his eyes. When the door opens again Harry is the only one to return. “Roxy has JB out for a walk,” Harry says. Eggsy nods sleepily. Harry sits down, hesitates briefly, and takes Eggsy’s hand again. Eggsy curls his fingers around Harry’s. “You gave us quite a scare, my boy.”

“Didn’t mean to.” Eggsy closes his eyes for a moment. “Sorry about tha mission, ‘arry. I tried ta…”

“Shush, Eggsy. You did a wonderful job, as always. Things escalated beyond your control, and your only option was to get out of there.”

“Almost didn’t even do that,” Eggsy mutters.

“That topic is not up for discussion,” Harry says sharply. “You’re here, and the doctor says you seem to be healing well. I suppose your brain simply knew that your body needed time to rest.”

“Feel like I ran into a brick wall,” Eggsy tries to joke. Harry winces. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Eggsy. I…I came so close to losing you,” he whispers. Eggsy rubs Harry’s hand. “When you feel up to it, my boy…we need to talk.”

“All right.” Eggsy looks at him in confusion.

“Nothing bad, I assure you. I…I just became privy to some very interesting information, and I’d like to discuss it with you.” Harry frowns. “Christ, that sounded pompous, didn’t it?”

“A little,” Eggsy admits, yawning.

“We will talk when you’re more alert.” Harry squeezes his hand and starts to get up.

“No. Haz, please?” Eggsy clutches his hand. “Could…could ya stay til I’m asleep?”

“Of course, dear boy.” Harry smiles at him fondly. “As long as you promise to wake up again.”

“I promise.”

Eggsy falls asleep with his hand in Harry’s.


	3. Chapter 3

Eggsy slowly woke up, trying to focus on the figure by the bed. “Harry?

“Sorry, lad,” Merlin’s voice said. Eggsy rubbed at his eyes. “It’s only me.”

“Always happy ta see ya, Merlin.” Eggsy tries not to show his disappointment.

“I don’t know about that, but it was nice of you to say. Do you need anything?”

“Could use some water.”

Merlin brought the cup over and handed it to Eggsy. “Slowly. Your body’s going to have to get used to real food and water. They removed your feeding tube last night, hoping to get you started on some soft foods today.”

“Yeah, I’m thinkin’ fish an’ chips probably ain’t on my menu for a while.”

“Probably not. I ordered Harry to go home and get some rest, and of course he refused. He’s upstairs in his suite.”

“Is he all right?” Eggsy gasps.

“He’s fine, Eggsy. He just needs sleep and a lot of it. He’s barely left your side since you came into medical. He’s gone home to change clothes and take care of JB. Who is down in the kennel, by the way. I figured it would be best for him to have some peace and quiet as well.”

“Thanks, Merlin.” Eggsy thinks for a moment. “He…he really was here all that time?”

“Yes. And not because he’s Arthur. Because he’s Harry…and because it was you.” Merlin stands. “I’ll let the doctors know you’re awake. I’m sure they want to talk to you about some things, discuss the next steps for your recovery.”

“Merlin.” Eggsy grabs his hands. “Thanks fer lookin’ out fer us. Appreciate it.”

“Someone has to. God knows you aren’t able to look out for yourselves.” Merlin winks at him and leaves the room. 

 

When Harry looks through the door into Eggsy’s room, he sees him sitting up in bed, playing on his phone. Harry takes a deep breath and opens the door. “May I come in?”

“Harry!” Eggsy’s face lights up, and Harry wonders how he’d possibly been so blind. Does Eggsy ALWAYS look at him like this? “Course ya can. Been hopin’ ya’d come.”

“How are you feeling?” Harry sits down by the bed and automatically reaches for Eggsy’s hand. Eggsy’s smile brightens as he slips his hand into Harry’s. 

“Good. Already sick of this bed, but I’ll be good.”

“There’s a first,” Harry says and Eggsy makes a face at him. “I’m so glad you’re…awake.”

“Guess I scared ya a bit, huh?”

“Just a bit.” Harry studies his face. His skin has gotten a bit of color back, and his beautiful eyes are alert and bright.

“Ya said…ya said ya needed ta talk ta me about something?” Eggsy says timidly. 

“Oh. Yes.” Harry fidgets a bit. He desperately wants to blurt out that he knows of Eggsy’s feelings, but he doesn’t want to admit he’s read through Eggsy’s journal. 

“Harry, if ya don’t wanna talk about it right now, it’s fine. M’sure we got other things ta talk about…been out of it for a while, haven’t I?” Eggsy squeezes his hand.

“No, I don’t want to wait. It’s…I’ve always had a hard time talking about my emotions. It’s a bit of a struggle for me.”

“Ain’t goin’ nowhere.” Eggsy motions to the room. “Obviously. Take yer time.” Eggsy leans back against his pillows and smiles.

Harry plays with Eggsy’s fingers. “Eggsy, you know I’ve always cared about you a great deal.”

“Merlin said ya was in here an awful lot while I was out,” Eggsy says shyly.

“Yes. I was afraid to leave. I was afraid you’d wake up and I wouldn’t be here. Or that something…something might happen and I would…” Harry shakes his head. That’s not where he wants to go right now. He cannot bear the thought of a world without Eggsy in it. Eggsy pats his hand. Harry brings their connected hands up to his mouth and kisses every one of Eggsy’s knuckles. Eggsy’s eyes widen. “Eggsy…my boy…I…I must be honest with you about something. I’ve tried to fight it, I’ve hidden it even from myself. But now I realize that I need to tell you something. And if it’s something you don’t want to hear, I just ask that you let me down gently.”

“Haz…”

“But I hope that won’t be the case.” Harry takes a deep breath. “My dear Eggsy…I…I have fallen in love with you.” Eggsy’s vitals jump on the monitors. “You are a beautiful creature, and I’ve been physically attracted to you almost from the moment I saw you. I must admit that I’ve watched you more than I should…you’d probably call me a filthy old man if you knew the ways I’ve observed you during your training.” Eggsy’s cheeks turn pink. “And then I got to know you, to see the amazing person inside the gorgeous body. You’re intelligent, brave, strong, and loyal. The size of your heart, your ability to love, it is truly astounding. And I realized one day that I’d fallen in love with you.”

“I…I had no clue,” Eggsy whispers. 

“Of course not. I’m very good at hiding things. Spy, remember?” Harry says with a little grin. “I couldn’t possibly tell you…I knew my feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated.”

“Why would ya think that?” Eggsy asks in an odd voice.

“Because look at me, Eggsy. I’m an old man, beaten down by life and my job. I’m broken and tired. Next to you, I’m…well, you could do better.”

“Harry!” Eggsy says scathingly.

“After seeing you like this, watching you sleep in this bed, not knowing if you’d ever wake…I told myself that if you did, I’d be honest with you. Even if you don’t return my feelings, you can live your life knowing that someone admires you greatly, that they love you.”

“Haz, I ain’t all that.” Eggsy sits up all the way. “I ain’t nothin’ compared ta you. Yer everything. Yer gorgeous an’ fit an’ smart an’ funny. Yer brave an’ strong an’ fuck, ya seen so much yet yer able to love on a dog or sing silly ABBA songs or tickle my little sister.”

“You make me sound like quite the catch,” Harry says awkwardly.

“You is…I mean, you are.” Eggsy takes a deep breath. “Harry, I know what ya mean when ya say you was afraid ta leave my side in case somethin’ happened. I had to watch ya DIE. I watched that and I didn’t think I’d ever breathe again. My life was completely empty after that happened…like I was just goin’ through tha motions.” Harry kisses Eggsy’s hands again. “I’ve loved ya for a very long time, ‘arry, and I don’t mean just like a mentor or whatever. I mean as…as a man. Don’t got much experience with all this, but…days I wake up and know I get ta see ya, spend time with ya? Best days ever.”

“Well.” Harry clears his throat and tries to blink the sudden tears from his eyes. Eggsy’s looking at him with warmth and admiration, with hope. No one’s ever looked at Harry like that before. “I must admit that wasn’t quite the response I was expecting.”

“Never thought you’d look at me like that,” Eggsy says softly. “Just some dumb kid, don’t know nothin’, not all posh like you.”

“I admit the age difference was a bit of a hurdle for me to get over,” Harry admits. “Not on your side, on mine. I couldn’t imagine that I’d be able to keep up with you.”

“Harry, ya know I’m not some idiot who parties all tha time an’ stays out all night,” Eggsy points out. “Christ, I’m normally in bed before you are.”

“True.”

“And…I don’t exactly have any experience with this. Relationships an’ everything that goes with ‘em.” Eggsy’s evasive but Harry knows full well what he’s talking about.

“There’s no need to rush. Our feelings are out there now, and we can just go step by step,” Harry says finally.

“What’s the next step?”

“Once you’re out of medical, we’ll go on a date. If you’re amenable, that is.” 

Eggsy’s face lights up again. “A date? Like ya pick me up an’ everything? Hold out my chair, order for me?”

“Like you’d let me order your food for you, or hold out your chair.” Eggsy’s answering snort proves it true. “I could pick you up. I do know where you live, after all,” Harry finishes with a grin.

“That…yeah. That sounds fuckin’ aces, ‘arry.”

The smile on Eggsy’s face is absolutely luminous, and Harry’s heart jumps into his throat. “I would…I would like to rush along one thing if you didn’t mind too much.”

“What?” Eggsy frowns. “Is there somethin’ I should be doin’?”

“No, dear boy. You are perfect just the way you are.” Harry sits on the edge of the bed. “I was…I wondering if I might kiss you.”

“Kiss me?” Eggsy whispers, stunned. Harry nods. “Y-yes, please.”

The awestruck expression on Eggsy’s face makes him look younger than ever, and absolutely adorable. Harry leans in and gently presses his lips to Eggsy’s. He feels Eggsy sigh against him, a hand reaching up to cradle the back of Harry’s head. His fingers slowly thread through Harry’s hair, and Harry leans forward a bit more. He places his hands on either side of Eggsy to hold himself up. Eggsy hums a bit, pulling Harry in closer. Harry’s tongue shyly seeks entrance and Eggsy allows it, his own tongue dancing with Harry’s. Harry is the first to pull away, allowing his forehead to rest on Eggsy’s. “Oh, my dear boy.”

“Been dreamin’ about that for a long time.” Eggsy keeps his arms around Harry. “Weren’t this good in my dreams, though.”

“Sweet talker.” Harry goes in for another kiss, feeling Eggsy smile against him. 

“Truth talker,” Eggsy corrects. “Lemme sit up.”

“Eggsy…”

“I can sit up, ‘arry. Not gonna die or nothin’.” Harry winces. “Sorry.” Harry moves off the bed and helps Eggsy sit on the edge. Harry immediately sits next to him and puts an arm around him. “Yeah. This is what I wanted.” Eggsy leans in close and they sit in silence for a moment. “Ya really wanna take me on a date?”

“I really do.”

“Kiss me on the front porch?”

“You know how nosy our neighbors are. Perhaps I’ll kiss you inside the door.”

“In the hallway.”

“And I suppose in the kitchen as well?”

“In front of my bedroom door?”

“Goodness…we’ll have to go to dinner early…it sounds like you have a lot of kissing planned.” Harry smiles down at him.

“Guess I do. If you’re…amenable.” Eggsy winks at him.

“So very amenable.” Harry kisses him again, cradling Eggsy’s face in his hands.


	4. Chapter 4

Someone knocks on Harry’s office door and he growls at it. He stares at the door, wondering if Merlin could add something to his robotic eye to give him the ability to shoot lasers. He’s been wrestling for hours with notes for a speech he’s to give at a conference in Milan, and he’s at his wit’s end. “Enter,” he says finally. 

“Haz?” Eggsy pokes his head into the room. “Ya busy?”

“Never too busy to spend time with you, my boy.” A weight lifts from Harry’s hunched shoulders. “What are you doing here? You’re still on medical leave, Galahad,” Harry says sternly. He pushes back from his desk and gets up.

“Ain’t here ta work, Arthur, swear down.” He wraps himself around Harry and squeezes hard. Harry sighs into Eggsy’s hair, smiling from ear to ear. He can most definitely get used to this. “Had lunch with Roxy, thought I’d stop in and say hello.”

“I’m so glad you did.” He leads Eggsy to the sofa at the side of the room. “You’ve made my day. I’ve been struggling with something and needed a break.”

“Can I help ya at all?” Eggsy takes Harry’s hand and plays with his fingers. 

“No, darling, but thank you for offering. You’re a welcome distraction.”

“I’m VERY good at being distracting,” Eggsy says with a wink. He wiggles a little and suddenly Harry finds himself with a lap full of Eggsy Unwin. 

“Oh, you don’t need to tell me that.” Harry runs a hand through Eggsy’s hair and guides him down for a kiss.

They snog for a few minutes, sweet long kisses that leave them both breathless. “I could do this all day,” Eggsy says finally. “Just because I dreamt of it for so long. Never thought…never thought I’d be this lucky.”

“Well, it’s all quite new…we don’t know how long you’ll think you’re lucky. You haven’t had to deal with me on a full-time basis.”

“I’m ready for the challenge.” Eggsy kisses Harry once more and sits back a bit. He starts to blush, a delicious pink that runs from his throat to his cheeks.

“What is it?”

“Just a little…excited.” Eggsy looks down at his groin and back up again. “Like a teenager.”

“My dear boy, you have my body thinking of things it hasn’t thought of in probably thirty years,” Harry tells him and Eggsy giggles. “Never be embarrassed around me, Eggsy. Not by your thoughts or your feelings or your words or your body’s reactions. We need to communicate, to be honest with one another.” Harry inwardly winces at that, wishing he could take his own advice. 

“All right.” He slides off Harry’s lap and sits next to him again. “I had another reason ta stop by. It’s about dinner tomorrow night.”

“You haven’t changed your mind?”

“Fuck, no, Haz!” Eggsy says immediately. “Just had an idea about a location. I’ll text it to ya. Roxy told me about it. I…I told her about our date. Hope that’s all right…she won’t say nothin’ ta anyone,” Eggsy promises.

“She’s your best friend, Eggsy, of course you’d say something for her. I hope she didn’t give you a hard time about it.”

“Course she did…cuz she’s my best mate,” Eggsy says with a grin. “But she’s happy for me. Anyway, she knows this restaurant, all romantic like, an’ she said they welcome…uh…alternative lifestyle couples?” Eggsy’s slight pink blush goes to full red. 

“Eggsy.” Harry’s heart sinks and he’s not sure why. “Are you…if you’re uncomfortable with us going out on a date, we can just stay in. We can order Thai from that little place you love, and we can watch a movie. Just snuggle on the sofa.”

“No! I mean, I do want ta do that. That sounds amazing.” Eggsy thinks for a moment. “I’ve been with some birds, ‘arry, but I’d definitely classify myself as bi, if I had to put a name on it. I’ve just…I’ve never said it to anyone. I mean, besides you, an’ Roxy. My mum doesn’t know. I’m not ashamed, really, I guess I’m just nervous.”

“I don’t want to take you out if you won’t enjoy it,” Harry says. “I came out a long time ago, at least to the people that matter. When I was your age, it was dangerous for me to admit it, so I never really advertised it. But now, in this day and age, I can say or be whatever I want. But what I want most is to be with you.” Harry kisses him. “But I don’t want to force you or rush you into anything you’re not ready for. We…we don’t have to even go on a date if you don’t…”

“Harry, been dreamin’ about a date with you for fuckin’ ages now,” Eggsy interrupts. “It’s just so real now…not a dream anymore. The whole reason Roxy suggested the restaurant is cuz we can act however we want. Don’t need to worry about people starin’ or anythin’, like they might in some fancy place. Weren’t plannin’ on snoggin’ ya at the table or anythin’, just…fuck.” Eggsy hangs his head. “I shouldn’t have even mentioned it. Whatever place ya want is fine.”

“Eggsy.” Harry tilts his face up. Eggsy’s eyes are anxious and he’s biting at his bottom lip. “I care about you very much. I want to take you out, to spoil and pamper you. I don’t care where it happens. I trust Roxanne, and if she recommends this place as somewhere with good food and an atmosphere where we can enjoy each other’s company, then that’s where I wish to go. Does that sound good to you?” Eggsy nods. “All right then. Send me the information and I’ll make a reservation.”

“I want everything to be perfect,” Eggsy says suddenly. “I want it to be worth your time.”

“Gary Unwin,” Harry snaps, suddenly furious. Eggsy blinks at him. “Do not ever say anything like that again. You’re insinuating that YOU aren’t worth my time, and that could not be farther from the truth. I’ve waited forty years to find someone that makes me feel the way you do. Do you realize that?” Eggsy just gapes at him. “You are perfect for me, and that’s all that matters.” He slowly leans in and gives Eggsy the sweetest of kisses.

“Told ya I’m shite at relationships,” Eggsy whispers.

“Well, we’ll be learning together. I’m not exactly experienced at them either.” Harry feels Eggsy relax next to him. “I do need to get back to my work,” Harry says with a regretful sigh. “It’s that bloody speech for the Milan conference.”

“Read it to me,” Eggsy suggests. “Know I ain’t some fancy higher-up in MI-6 or the CIA, but I can at least listen to it. I remember from school, sometimes when ya read yer work aloud, ya hear things that need changin’.”

“Thank you, Eggsy. If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Spendin’ extra time with you? Oh, please, Haz, don’t make me do it,” Eggsy says sarcastically.

“Cheeky,” Harry says, returning to his desk. Eggsy gives him a wink and settles in on the sofa.

 

Eggsy turns a bit in front of his mirror, checking his tie and tugging at his jacket one last time. He’s wearing a new suit, something Harry’s never seen before, and he thinks it looks pretty good. The blue-grey fabric brings out his eyes, and it’s just tight enough in the trousers to accentuate his tight thighs and arse. He realizes his hands are shaking and takes a few deep breaths. It’s been three weeks since their heart-to-heart in the medical unit, and he still cannot believe this is his life. Harry Hart, the man of his dreams, is taking him out to dinner. On a date. In Harry’s own words, he wants to “spoil and pamper” him. Before Harry, Eggsy’s idea of a date was a pint with fish and chips in a pub with maybe a kiss goodnight at the front door. But this…this was real. An actual date with a true gentleman.

Eggsy’s hands start to sweat. He knows Harry doesn’t expect them to just fall into bed after dinner. Even if he did, if Eggsy didn’t want it, he knows Harry wouldn’t even try to make it happen. He really is a gentleman. Eventually Eggsy will have to come clean. He’ll have to admit to Harry that his history of carnal knowledge of other men has been limited to blow jobs and hand jobs and rutting in an alley. Harry likes teaching him things in every other aspect of his life; hopefully he doesn’t mind teaching Eggsy about this as well.

He closes his eyes, counts to ten, and takes one more deep breath. His date is waiting.

Harry’s at the bottom of the steps, checking his watch. He’s wearing the dark blue suit that Eggsy loves. “You know, this may be a first…me waiting on you. Don’t tell Merlin, he’ll expect…” Harry stops talking as he gets a good look at Eggsy. “Dear Lord,” he says quietly as Eggsy reaches the bottom step. “Is…is that a new suit?”

“Yes. Just picked it up today.” Eggsy nervously runs a hand down over his chest. “Do you like it?”

“I wish this was the fourth or fifth date,” Harry says with a sigh. “Then I would have no qualms about turning you around, marching you back upstairs, and carefully removing it. You look stunning.”

“Thank you. I hoped you’d like it,” Eggsy replies shyly.

Harry kisses his cheek. “Darling, you could be wearing a paper sack and I’d probably adore it.” He opens the door. “Cab is waiting.”

Eggsy climbs into the back of the cab and Harry’s immediately pressed next to him, a hand on Eggsy’s thigh. He could get used to this. “Hope tha food’s as good as Roxy says. M’fuckin’ starvin’.”

“It must be good…I had quite a time getting a reservation.” Harry reaches up to lightly touch the side of Eggsy’s head. “How are you feeling, my boy? Any headaches?”

“Harry,” Eggsy says reprovingly. “Doc said I should look fer headaches tha first week. Been weeks now…plural.”

“I can’t help but be a bit overprotective.” Harry blushes a bit and Eggsy thinks it’s charming. “I worried about you before, but now that I can voice my concerns…you must forgive an old man.”

“Find me an old man and I will,” Eggsy says, and Harry kisses him.

The restaurant is everything Roxy’d promised. Intimate and romantic, with private booths, candles on the tables, and a variety of homosexual as well as heterosexual couples. The waiter leads them to a semi-circular booth and Eggsy crawls in. Harry sits next to him, one hand again on his leg. “Would you like me to order wine?” Harry asks.

“If you want.” Eggsy’s suddenly shy. He feels so out of his element. Romantic restaurant, handsome posh date. He just knows he’s going to use the wrong fork or throw food across the room. “I trust ya.”

“I know you do, Eggsy.” Harry gives him a warm smile and Eggsy’s knees go weak, even while sitting down. The waitress comes to the table and Harry orders them each a glass of wine. “I’ve ordered something a bit sweeter for you, I know wine isn’t your favorite beverage.”

“I’ll try anything once,” Eggsy says, trying to sound brave. He looks down at the menu and is grateful to see that there’s nothing in French or Italian or any other language he doesn’t know. He decides on steak with bleu cheese garlic butter; he figures it won’t be too messy, so the chance of him wearing any of it are slim. 

“That actually sounds excellent. And if we both have garlic breath, it won’t matter.” Harry winks at him and closes his menu. 

“Oh. Fuck. Didn’t think about that.” Eggsy subconsciously reaches up to his mouth. “I’ll choose something else.” He reaches for his menu.

“Darling, I’m joking. They probably use so little garlic we won’t even notice.” Harry looks worried now. “Please relax. I don’t…I want you to have a nice time. I want you to feel special.”

“I am havin’ a nice time, an’ I do feel special. The way ya looked at me when we was at tha house…like I were dessert.” Eggsy winks. “Never been looked at quite like that before.”

“I always knew you were attractive, my boy, but your thighs in that suit? Jesus. You make me want to kneel down and worship you.”

Eggsy turns as red as the wine the waitress gives to Harry. She takes their order and walks away. Eggsy stares at Harry. “Medium rare? Really, ‘arry? Might as well just walk tha damn thing through a warm room.”

“Is this where I make a comment about liking things soft and juicy?” Harry gives him a sly grin.

“Well, I would hope you prefer them firm and hard,” Eggsy says innocently. 

“A toast,” Harry says hastily, picking up his glass. He looks Eggsy in the eye and suddenly Eggsy can think of nothing else. The candlelight is reflected in Harry’s warm brown eyes, and they’re looking at Eggsy with such concentration that he shivers. “To first dates,” Harry says softly.

“To literal first dates,” Eggsy corrects. “Cuz this is my first real date, and if this how they are, I’m glad I waited fer you, ‘arry.” Harry swallows hard, touches his glass to Eggsy’s, then drinks. Eggsy sips at his as well. He looks around the room, realizes no one cares what they do, and gives Harry a soft kiss. “Thank ya for a wonderful evening.”

“You’re not supposed to say that until the night is over,” Harry murmurs, gently rubbing his nose over Eggsy’s.

Eggsy shrugs. “Don’t need ta wait.”

 

Harry sighs with contentment as they settle back into the cab to return home. The evening had gone perfectly. They’d talked nonstop over their meals, and the way Eggsy looked at him sometimes made Harry actually feel like swooning. He was reminded of the Disney movie with the dogs…if they’d have ordered pasta, he’s sure they would have shared the noodles and ended it with a kiss.

Eggsy reaches for his hand and holds it, his head on Harry’s shoulder. “Told ya…had a wonderful time.”

“Myself as well.” Harry sighs again. “I’m not sure how I can top this date, however. I already know your thoughts on skydiving.”

“Fuck no…that’s my thought,” Eggsy says immediately. “Besides, date number two is mine.”

“What?”

“Yeah. This whole datin’ thing ain’t just yer domain, Mr. Hart. I get a crack at impressin’ YOU…I get to pamper YOU.” Eggsy looks as if he’s thrilled by the idea.

“Well, if I must…”

“Ya must,” Eggsy says simply.

They thank the driver and Harry lets them into the house. Eggsy closes the door and leans against it, looking at Harry with a sly grin on his face. “May I help you?” Harry raises an eyebrow.

“Ya said you’d kiss me inside tha door.”

“Oh, you’re right. My apologies.” Harry cups Eggsy’s face in his hands and gives him a long kiss. 

“Mmm, nice.” Eggsy looks up at him with stars in his eyes.

A series of barks from the kitchen has them both laughing. “Mr. Bauer requests your presence in the kitchen,” Harry says. “He’s going to be quite angry that we didn’t bring him any dinner.”

“I’m sure he’ll live.” Eggsy takes two steps down the hallway before Harry pulls him back. This kiss is passionate, Harry’s tongue delving into Eggsy’s mouth. Eggsy whimpers, hands fisting at Harry’s waist. “Wha?” Eggsy manages.

“There was also a request for a kiss in the hall, if memory serves.” Harry grins over his shoulder as he heads for the kitchen. “JB! I must apologize. Your daddy is a dreadful man…no treats for you.”

“Oi, don’t be tellin’ my dog lies,” Eggsy yells. He releases JB, who runs in circles around the table. Eggsy herds him outside and Harry grins as he goes to the drying mat to put away their breakfast dishes. His grin broadens as he hears Eggsy talking to JB on their way back in. “An’ he distracted me, JB, weren’t my fault. You know Daddy loves you an’ will always bring ya treats. It was mean Uncle ‘arry.”

“Slanderous lies,” Harry tells JB once they’re in the kitchen. He places the last teacup in the cupboard and turns around.

Eggsy’s right in front of him, smiling impishly. “Ain’t lyin’. You’s always a distraction.” He stands on tiptoe to kiss Harry, nipping at his chin before licking at his lips. “Kisses in the kitchen, weren’t that on tha list?”

“Yes, it was,” Harry says. He’s beginning to think that they should probably christen every room of the house, if only with kisses.

Eggsy finally breaks the kiss and pulls away. “Gotta get outta this monkey suit. Need a jumper and some trakkies before bed.”

“Unfortunately I’ll be up for a bit…some paperwork Merlin’s been hounding me about.” Harry sighs. “But I believe I’ll go up and change into something more comfortable as well.”

He follows Eggsy upstairs. Eggsy leans against his closed bedroom door and smiles at him. He crooks his finger and motions at Harry. “I believe you owe me one more kiss.”

“I believe I do.” Harry saunters over and slowly presses Eggsy against the door. “I don’t wish for you to go to bed…wanting.” He ghosts his mouth over Eggsy’s face, barely touching him. Eggsy actually whimpers. “I want to satisfy your every need.”

“Fuck, Haz,” Eggsy whispers. He fists his hand in Harry’s hair and pulls him in for a kiss. This kiss isn’t tender or sweet. It’s brutal and wicked. Eggsy’s other hand grabs Harry’s arse and squeezes as his leg wraps around the back of Harry’s thigh. He sucks Harry’s tongue and Harry forgets to breathe.

“Jesus, Eggsy,” Harry gasps. He rolls his body against Eggsy’s, feeling Eggsy’s erection through the thin fabric of his trousers. He gasps again as Eggsy flips them around, Harry’s back to the door. 

“Yer so fuckin’ perfect, Haz.” Eggsy loosens Harry’s tie just enough to give him access to the base of Harry’s throat. He licks the divot of skin there and smiles. “Taste perfect, too.” Harry’s stunned as Eggsy plants a line of kisses down the front of his shirt, gradually falling to his knees. He rubs his face over Harry’s groin and Harry’s prick jumps, even through the layers of fabric. 

“Eggsy,” Harry says in a choked voice, hand running through Eggsy’s hair. “What are you…”

“Wanna taste ya, ‘arry. Wanna suck ya…can I?”


	5. Chapter 5

FIVE

“Eggsy…” Harry gasps. “You…”

“Please, ‘arry…been wantin’ ya fer so long.” Eggsy’s hands run up and down Harry’s thighs. 

“God.” Harry lets his head fall back against the door.

Eggsy takes that as a yes and undoes his belt. “Gonna make ya feel so good, Haz. Wanna make ya scream my name.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Harry says weakly. His hands stroke through Eggsy’s hair as his trousers fall down around his ankles. 

Eggsy slowly works the elastic of Harry’s pants over his arse and all the way down. “Jesus,” he whispers. “Better than I’d dreamt.” He slowly strokes Harry with both hands. “Knew ya’d be fuckin’ huge, ‘arry…knew it.” Harry looks down to see Eggsy smiling up at him. 

Harry touches Eggsy’s face. “My boy, you don’t have to…”

“I want to,” Eggsy interrupts. He flicks his tongue over the head and slowly sucks on it. 

“Oh my God.” Harry’s head thuds back again.

Eggsy’s tongue seems to be everywhere at once. Sliding over the head, licking down the shaft, flickering over his balls. He finally begins to take Harry all the way, working his way down slowly. His hand moves over what isn’t in his mouth, and Harry’s soon panting, tyring his best not to thrust down Eggsy’s throat.

“Ain’t gonna hurt me, Haz,” Eggsy rasps. “Fuck my mouth. Want ya to.”

“My boy, your tongue…absolutely sinful…” Harry fists both hands in Eggsy’s hair and holds him in place for a moment, with just his head in Eggsy’s mouth. Eggsy hums and Harry releases him. That wicked tongue finds the sensitive vein along the bottom and slowly laps at it before pulling all the way off.

“Want ya screamin’,” Eggsy reminds him, before taking Harry all the way to the back of his throat.

“Eggsy!” Harry does indeed scream. He’s thankful for the thick walls of the house. “Christ, Eggsy…you fucking beautiful thing.”

Eggsy pulls off and gasps for breath. “Feels good? Ya like it, ‘arry?”

“Oh, my boy, like is too small of a word.”

“Good.” Eggsy grins devilishly and goes back down again. He does it repeatedly, taking Harry in all the way until he’s choking, then slowly slurping his way off. His hands move in tandem with his mouth, up and down, sometimes sliding his fingers in with Harry’s cock.

All too soon Harry feels the familiar tingle in the small of his back. “Eggsy…I’m close…”

“Good, ‘arry. Give it ta me, want it…” He grabs for Harry’s hands and places them on his head again. “Use me.”

Harry doesn’t like the sound of those words, but he’s too far gone to do much about it. “Eggsy…my boy…my beautiful fucking tart of a boy…” Harry groans as he splashes into Eggsy’s mouth. Eggsy echoes the sound, groaning around Harry as he comes. He takes everything, hands gently pumping Harry’s cock a few more times before releasing him.

He slowly stands up, bringing Harry’s trousers and pants along with him. He gets the zipper and button done but leaves the belt. “Didya mean it? Was it good?” Eggsy studies him anxiously. 

“I mean everything I say to you,” Harry replies immediately, trying to catch his breath. He touches Eggsy’s face with a trembling hand. “That was amazing.”

“Good.” Eggsy kisses Harry’s throat, his chin, his cheeks, but avoids his mouth. Harry leans in and gives him an odd look when he pulls away. “Some blokes don’t…I mean, they don’t like kissin’ after…”

“I like kissing you no matter what.” Harry steals a kiss before Eggsy can protest.

“Filthy old man.” Eggsy hugs Harry. “Go change so you can get yer work done, an’ then go ta bed, ‘arry. Know you…you’ll stay up all night.”

“But Eggsy, what about you?”

“Me? I’ll probably turn in…sorta tired, actually.”

“No, I mean…” Harry slides his hands down to gently grab at Eggsy’s arse, wondering why he’s suddenly too shy to say the words.

Eggsy shrugs. “Don’t matter. Wasn’t doin’ it fer me. Was doin’ it fer you. Wanted to.”

“But…”

“No.” Eggsy kisses him. “Thank ya fer an incredible evening, ‘arry.”

“You’re welcome,” Harry says quietly. He studies Eggsy for a moment before kissing him. “Good night, my boy.”

“Night, Haz.” Eggsy gives him a beautiful smile before slipping into his room and closing the door.

Harry changes his clothes and goes down to his office, but work is the last thing he wants to focus on. He keeps replaying the scene in his mind. It’s as if…as if Eggsy blew him as repayment for a nice evening. That’s NOT how Harry wants this relationship to go. Eggsy feels like he owes Harry, and this is what he has to offer. Himself. It makes Harry uncomfortable, especially since he enjoyed it so much. It was quite obvious that Eggsy knew his way around a man’s cock. He was skillful and quick, paying close attention to what Harry liked. It was very…professional.

Harry then wonders if he would be thinking so hard about it if he didn’t know of Eggsy’s past work as a prostitute. Would he care? Would he see it as repayment? Or would he have simply enjoyed the feeling of a beautiful man’s mouth around his dick? Would he have focused on the fact that Eggsy wanted to do it, enjoyed doing it?

Harry groans and runs his hands through his hair, accidentally bumping his glasses out of place. “You do know it’s almost half-ten, Harry,” Merlin barks in his ear. “Some of us get to work quite early. Every day.”

“I’m sorry, Merlin. It was an accident…I touched the button. I apologize if I disturbed you. Good night.”

“Harry Hart…you sound miserable.”

Harry hates having a best friend who knows him so well. “I’m fine. I just had the best orgasm in my life, if you must know.”

“I really didn’t need to know,” Merlin replies. “If that’s the case…why do you sound like someone ran over your dog?”

“Because…because my life is complicated.” Merlin snorts. “It is. I wish…I wish I’d never read his journal, Merlin. I know things I shouldn’t know…things I should find out when he’s ready to tell me.”

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty.”

“Thank you ever so much,” Harry says sarcastically. “I’m afraid of ruining this, Merlin. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I’m going to ruin it.”

“The answer is simple, Harry. Don’t ruin it.” Merlin hangs up.

“Bastard,” Harry growls. He stands up, touches his toes ten times, and sits back down to focus on his work.

 

The next morning Harry wakes up and smells bacon. He pulls himself to his feet, puts on his dressing gown and wanders downstairs after a stop at the loo. “Eggsy?” 

“Who else, bruv?” Eggsy smiles at him from the stove. “Was waitin’ on ya ta make tha eggs. Sit down.” He motions to Harry’s seat. “Be ready in a mo.”

“Darling, what’s all this?”

“Wanted ta surprise ya. Thank ya again fer a wonderful first date.” Eggsy cracks eggs into the pan, scoops bacon onto a plate, and finally comes over to give him a kiss. “Mornin’, gorgeous.”

“Good morning.” Harry stares at him. “You are truly amazing, do you know that?”

“Not even close.” Eggsy blushes. He makes Harry’s tea and sits across from him.

“Aren’t you going to eat?”

Eggsy shrugs. “Ate somethin’ when I got up. I’ll have an early lunch,” he promises. “Don’t get used ta this, though…felt we needed somethin’ special ta celebrate our first date.” He reaches over for Harry’s hand. “Really enjoyed it.”

“As did I.”

“Especially tha ending?” Eggsy winks. “Eat. You’ll be late, not that it’s anythin’ new.”

Harry picks up his knife and fork but doesn’t start. “Eggsy…you realize everything I did last night was because I care about you, correct?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy say slowly.

“I don’t expect repayment, or anything like that. I love you, and I want to do nice things for you. I get the feeling…that you haven’t had too many people treating you like you deserve to be treated. I want to change all that.”

“Harry.” Eggsy frowns. “If yer thinkin’ that I blew ya just cuz ya bought me dinner…you’d be wrong.”

“Eggsy, I…”

“Did I make you breakfast cuz ya gave me a wonderful evening? Yes. But I blew ya cuz I’ve been dreamin’ about my mouth on yer dick for ages now. That’s all.” Eggsy plays with Harry’s napkin. “Just cuz I came from tha estates don’t mean I’m clueless about how ta say thank ya fer a good time.”

“Darling, please don’t be upset.” Harry feels about five inches tall. “I just…I don’t want to rush anything. I have no clue how you’ve done things in the past…” Liar, Harry thinks to himself. “…but I don’t want you to think I expect anything.”

“Ya don’t want me?” Now Eggsy looks devastated and Harry’s ready to bang his head against the wall.

“No. I mean, yes, I want you.” Harry shakes his head. He looks at Eggsy for a moment before pushing his chair back. “Come here, please.” He pats his lap and Eggsy slowly comes to sit down. “You have mentioned more than once that you feel you owe me because I brought you to Kingsman, taught you how to be a gentleman. I’ve told you more than once that I feel I owe you because of your father’s death and my part in it.” Eggsy opens his mouth and Harry places a finger over it. “Please let me finish. I want to stress, again, that we are equals in everything. My concern is that you feel you owe me for anything I might do within the definition of our romantic relationship. If you say that’s not the case, then I believe you.” Eggsy nods. “As for everything else…” Harry takes a deep breath. “Eggsy, if you looked me in the eye right now and told me you wanted me to take you upstairs and make slow passionate love to you, I would do it. I’d call Merlin, tell him I’m not coming in, and face his wrath tomorrow…if it was what you really wanted.” Eggsy smiles. “If you looked me in the eye and told me you wanted me to bend you over this table and fuck you until you couldn’t walk right, I would do it. Gladly. If it was what you really wanted.” Eggsy blushes but doesn’t look disinterested. “Believe me when I tell you that I have had many dreams about you, touched myself late at night thinking about you. I want you in so many ways. But more than all that, I love you. What you did to me last night was…incredible. And I’m sorry if I offended you by insinuating you did it as payment. I just…wanted to make sure.”

“I get ya, ‘arry.” Eggsy tucks his head on Harry’s shoulder and kisses the side of his neck. “We still got a lot ta learn about each other.”

“Yes, we do. And unfortunately I must ask you to move, so I may eat this delicious breakfast. I’m going to be late.”

“Shocker.” Eggsy kisses him again and moves off his lap.


	6. Chapter 6

SIX

The next evening Harry came from home work to a house full of delicious aromas. He hangs up his coat and greets JB, who stands with his paws on Harry’s leg. “Oh, very well.” He buries his face in the dog’s back and kisses him. It’s so nice to come home to a house full of activity. He carries JB into the kitchen.

“Well, JB, seems ya got Uncle ‘arry under yer paw, ain’t ya?” Eggsy says with a grin.

“May I ask what’s going on here?” He kisses JB again and puts him down. 

“Our second date,” Eggsy announces. “Know I didn’t ask ya officially or nothin’, but figured ya wouldn’t mind. Unless ya got other plans tonight.”

“Oh, well, I was supposed to…” Harry begins in jest. Eggsy’s face falls and Harry feels like an idiot. “Darling, I was only joking. I’m sorry. I have nothing planned for this evening except spending time with you, doing whatever you’d like.” He hurries over to wrap his arms around Eggsy. 

“Good.” Eggsy kisses him. “I threw together a quick dinner, thought we could eat it in front of tha telly, watch a movie?”

“That sounds lovely.” Harry kisses his nose, just because he can.

“Why dontcha grab a drink an’ go up ta change? Gonna be a bit in here…you can even pick the movie,” Eggsy says generously. “As long as it’s absolutely not a romantic comedy.”

“But…” Harry stares at him, crestfallen. “This is a date, yes? What other type of movie would we watch?”

“Horror movie, of course. Dontcha want me snuggled up to ya, hidin’ my face in yer chest?”

“But…”

“I’m just fuckin’ around with ya, love. Pick whatever movie ya want.” Eggsy winks and turns back to the stove. Harry delivers a sharp smack to his arse before going to make his drink.

 

“Do we ever hafta leave tha house again?” Eggsy asks, curling up next to Harry with his head on Harry’s chest. Harry draws Eggsy’s legs over his lap and Eggsy sighs happily.

“I suppose I could operate as Arthur from here as well as from HQ, but what about you? You’ll have to earn your keep.” 

“I could be a phone sex operator,” Eggsy suggests.

“Over my very dead body.” 

Eggsy snorts. “Oi, wait a minute.” He sits up a little. “There’s NO way she doesn’t see that bloke is gone for her. Just LOOK at him. Is she that fuckin’ stupid?”

“Well, darling, you and I were pretty oblivious,” Harry reminds him.

“We’re spies. It’s our job ta hide stuff.” Eggsy rolls his eyes. “I hope I didn’t look at you like that.”

“I think I would have noticed. I’m sure I DID look at you like that, when no one was around.”

Eggsy looks up at him. He cannot believe this is his life right now. Sitting practically on the lap of the man of his dreams, watching a movie, snuggling on the sofa. “Yer adorable, do ya know that?”

“I did not know that. I’m not sure that I believe it, either.” Harry shifts a bit and suddenly Eggsy IS on his lap. “Why don’t you come here and prove it to me?”

“I could do that.”

Eggsy’s only snogged perhaps a dozen people, but he’s definitely sure that Harry could win medals in snogging if given the opportunity. He kisses slow and lazy, taking his time to learn Eggsy’s mouth, to tempt him into deeper kisses that leave him panting. Eggsy nips at Harry’s tongue before gently sucking it in and out of his mouth. “Jesus,” Harry groans. He swivels them a bit and suddenly Eggsy’s pressed between Harry’s body and the back of the sofa. 

“Yer gonna fall off!” Eggsy says with a laugh, clinging to Harry for dear life.

“I trust you to save me.” They kiss for a bit longer, bodies intertwining and writhing together.

“Is this what ya normally do on the second date?” Eggsy whispers, his hands sliding up and down Harry’s back.

“I have. I’ve had second dates that have gone much further, and second dates that ended with a kiss on the front porch.” Harry studies him for a moment. “But this is the first second date that made me dinner. Or breakfast, for that matter.”

“Do you want this second date to go further?” Eggsy asks, half nervous and half turned on.

“What do you want?” Harry murmurs.

“Everything,” Eggsy blurts out, and he means it. He wants to touch Harry, taste him, feel him everywhere. 

Harry chuckles. “That sounds wonderful. But once we have everything…there’s no going back. Perhaps a slow…” His hand slowly slides down Eggsy’s chest. “…build up…would be more enjoyable.” His hand rests over Eggsy’s groin, simply sitting on the erection that’s pressed up against his jeans.

“Yes…yes, ‘arry…” 

Harry actually slides off the sofa and Eggsy whimpers. “Relax, my boy. I just want to have more room to move.” He starts kissing Eggsy again, his hand slowly undoing the zip and button of the jeans. Eggsy’s petrified. What if Harry doesn’t like what he sees? What if Eggsy’s too small, or shaped weird, or just plain unattractive? Harry’s been with a decent number of men, more than likely, and what if Eggsy doesn’t measure up…literally?

“Haz, I…” Eggsy begins as Harry opens the jeans and slides them down a bit with Eggsy’s pants.

“Oh, Eggsy,” Harry whispers. Eggsy’s hard and throbbing, and he hisses when Harry takes him in his hand. “You’re perfect. I knew you would be.” He kisses him, hand steady for a moment. Eggsy whimpers quietly. He slowly begins to stroke and Eggsy groans into Harry’s mouth. “I’ve dreamt of this, touching you this way. I want to touch you everywhere, press your naked body to mine.”

“Harry,” Eggsy says weakly, grunting as Harry’s thumb ghosts over the head.

“Oh, do you like that, my darling? Was it the words or my hand?”

“Both,” Eggsy blurts out. Harry chuckles. 

“My beautiful boy…I want to bring you to my bed, learn everything about you. I want to make you beg, make you pant, make you scream my name. I want to find all the sensitive parts of your body, find what drives you crazy.”

“Yes…yes, Harry…” Harry’s words are buzzing around Eggsy’s brain like a swarm of bees. “Please, ‘arry, don’t stop.” Eggsy’s hips arch and buck about.

“Does it feel good, Eggsy? Do you want to come?”

“Yes…make me come, ‘arry…”

“I love you,” Harry breathes and kisses him hard. His hand doesn’t stop, keeping a steady pace on Eggsy’s cock until he begins to shudder. 

Eggsy pushes his forehead against Harry’s and fists both hands in his hair. He cries Harry’s name as he comes, a mess of wetness that covers Harry’s hand as well as his own stomach. “I’m sorry…fuck I’m sorry, ‘arry.” He pats Harry’s head and releases him.

“For what?” Harry looks confused.

Eggsy’s face is already red but he feels it burn brighter. “Fer yankin’ yer hair, fer makin’ a mess.”

“Eggsy,” Harry says in astonishment. “You never have to apologize for anything when we are intimate with one another. You making a mess…that was quite my intentions when I moved off the sofa. And you didn’t hurt me. Not in a way I didn’t enjoy.” He gets up and disappears to the kitchen, returning with a warm flannel. He wipes Eggsy clean and helps him dress, then sits him up. Harry sits next to him. 

“Okay, I just…I wanna be good for you. Want you to enjoy it.” Eggsy bites his bottom lip. “Guess that’s the problem with dreams an’ fantasies, huh? Always gotta worry that reality won’t live up.”

“Very true.” Harry cuddles him close. “But that’s what I meant about having everything and not going back. You can only have the first time for something once. And while it’s not the first time for either of us, it’s the first time for us together. I want to savor that, enjoy it. You’re like a gift I get to open over and over again.”

“I like that idea.” Eggsy snuggles close and kisses Harry’s neck. “Yer a gift to me, too.” He buries his face in Harry’s jumper, wondering what Harry would think if he knew that he was going to be Eggsy’s first in more ways than one.

 

“New York? Now?” Harry tries not to whine, but he knows it’s how it sounds.

Merlin looks far too amused. Harry growls at him. “Yes, Arthur, New York, and yes, Arthur, now. Your boy is back into rotation as an agent, and this mission suits him perfectly. A bit of slight of hand, a bit of flirting, all things in his wheelhouse.”

“I see. Well, Merlin, I trust you to do what’s best for the agency.”

“Just not what’s best for you.” Merlin leans back in his chair. 

“This isn’t about me. This is about Kingsman. Next on the list. Ah. I see Percival’s going back to St. Petersburg again…I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to hear it. Never met anyone who loves the cold that much.”

“Harry, how long have you and Eggsy officially been an item?”

“A little over a month.” Harry doesn’t look up from his paperwork.

“And how do you feel it’s going?”

“Wonderfully.” Harry sighs a bit. “I was a bit worried that things would be awkward due to the fact that we live together. There can be too much of a good thing. But with him being on medical leave, and then in physical therapy…we really only see each other in the morning and in the evenings.”

“He makes you happy?”

Harry finally looks up. His friend doesn’t look as if he’s joking or poking fun. He’s dead serious. “Happier than I’ve ever been. I’ve never really been with someone who I could be completely honest with…about the job,” he quickly amends. 

“You should be honest with him about everything. That’s important in a relationship.” Merlin smiles. “Or so I’ve heard.”

“Whatever. Let’s get back to work.”

Merlin checks his watch. “We’re due to be interrupted…” Someone knocks on the door. “Right about now. Come in!”

Eggsy pokes his head in. “You wanted to see me, sir? Oh, hello, Arthur.”

“Galahad.” Harry nods at him.

“Please have a seat.” Merlin motions to a chair. “Arthur and I were just discussing your next mission.”

“I’m to go out in the field again?” Eggsy looks thrilled and Harry resigns himself to the fact that he cannot keep the boy home forever. 

“Yes, Galahad. It looks like…” Harry quickly reads through Merlin’s memo. “About two weeks?”

“Perhaps less, if Galahad gets the job done quickly,” Merlin replies. “New York. We need you to follow a young woman, get into her good graces by whatever means necessary, and gather intel from her flat.”

“Consider it done. You leave in two days. I’ll send you the necessary information.”

“Thank you, Merlin.” Eggsy stands. “Arthur.” 

Harry nods and watches him go out the door. “Well then…back to Percival.”

“He’ll be fine, Harry. He’s a good agent.”

“The best. Look who his mentor was.”

Merlin snorts and pulls up the next file.

 

They lay in Harry’s bed together that evening, wrapped in each other’s arms. Eggsy’d given up sleeping in his room the week prior, since he normally fell asleep in Harry’s bed anyway and had to drag himself down the hall. True to his word, Harry was taking things slow. They were discovering all sorts of wonderful things about each other, and while Eggsy still thought about the idea of having actual sex, whatever they were doing now was simply wonderful. Tonight it had only been kissing and caressing, clothes on, bodies pressed as close together as possible. “Haz?”

“Mmm?” 

Eggsy pressed a kiss to the expanse of skin above the buttons of Harry’s pajama top. “I’m gonna miss ya.”

“I’m sure you’ll be far too busy to miss me, my boy. But I appreciate the sentiment.”

“New York is fun,” Eggsy agrees. “An’ it sounds like this girl likes a bit of fun…clubbin’ an’ partyin’ all tha time. Hope I can keep up.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time.”

Eggsy hears something in Harry’s voice. “Ya know she’s just a mark, ‘arry.”

“She’s quite pretty.”

“So are you.” Eggsy grabs Harry by the chin. “Haz, don’t want some bird who spends all her time drinkin’ an’ shovin’ coke up her nose. I want you. This is a job. Whatever I hafta to, kiss her, touch her, fuck her, whatever. It’s a job. You’ll be on my mind, swear down.”

“I shouldn’t be. You should focus on your job.”

“Haz, how tha hell am I gonna get it up fer some random bird? I need some…incentive.” Eggsy’s hand wanders over the front of Harry’s pajamas. “Maybe thinkin’ about kissin’ you…touchin’ you…fuckin’ you…”

“Well, perhaps you could kiss and touch me now, and we’ll discuss the third upon your return.” Harry pulls Eggsy to lay on top of him.

“Mmm…sounds like excellent mission planning.”


	7. Chapter 7

SEVEN

“Ah, welcome back, young Galahad.” Merlin smiles up at Eggsy as he comes into the office. “How was New York?”

“Loud. Busy.”

“And the mark?”

“Loud. Busy.” Eggsy grins. “Brought you a present.” He slides a microdisc across Merlin’s desk.

“Why thank you, Galahad. You’re quite thoughtful.”

“Brought you another present, too.” He takes out a tiny replica of the Empire State Building and places that on the desk as well.

Merlin rolls his eyes. “Charming.”

“Wanted ya ta know I was thinkin’ of ya.” Eggsy winks. “May I sit?”

“Of course. Let’s get this debrief over with so you can hurry home. I know someone’s eagerly awaiting your arrival.”

“Yeah…JB hates it when I’m gone.”

Merlin snorts. “We both know that’s not who I was speaking of.”

“So…ya think ‘arry missed me?” Eggsy tries not to sound too eager to hear the answer. He’d messaged Harry twice and even managed a quick video chat, but it wasn’t the same. He’d missed Harry dreadfully while he was gone, and true to his word, he’d thought of Harry the entire time he’d been in bed with the mark.

Merlin sighs and folds his hands on the desk. “Lad, Arthur is nothing if not professional.”

“Oh. Right.” Eggsy blushes.

“That being said…while he got everything done that was required of him, I can honestly say I feel it was done with only half his mind on the task at hand. The other part of his brain was focused on you. He’s never been in my personal space as much as he was during this mission.”

“Oh?”

“Oh. Looking over my shoulder at the monitor, ‘casually’ stopping by to see how things were going. It was bloody annoying…and quite sweet.” Merlin looks as if it’s difficult to say the words.

“Did…did he watch everything?” Eggsy frowns.

“No, lad,” Merlin says gently. “He didn’t see you with her.”

“Okay. Good. I’m sorry if he was annoying you.”

“Harry annoys me all the time. I’ve grown quite accustomed to it.” Merlin opens his computer and taps at a few things. “Now. To work.”

 

Harry tells himself he’s not going to pounce on Eggsy as soon as he comes in the door. It’s been two weeks. A fortnight. Not an eternity. The boy will be tired, probably, and perhaps hungry. Plus he’ll have just come from debriefing with Merlin, which is never a good time. It’s not easy reliving a mission, even an easy one like Eggsy’s. 

So Harry busies himself in the kitchen, going through the refrigerator and discarding things that are past their prime. He’s sniffing a container and wondering just what was in it originally when he hears the front door. He closes the refrigerator and stands at the counter, desperately wanting to sweep his boy into his arms and never let him go.

“Hey.”

Harry slowly turns around to see Eggsy leaning in the doorway of the kitchen. He’s wearing his favorite grey suit, tie loosened, jacket over one shoulder. “Hello, my boy.”

They look at each other for a moment and suddenly Eggsy is across the kitchen like a shot, burying himself in Harry’s arms. “Haz, oh Haz, I fuckin’ missed ya so damn much.”

“And I you, my precious boy.” Harry cradles Eggsy’s face in his hands and kisses him. Eggsy sighs happily and melts against Harry’s body. “It’s ridiculous, really,” Harry says between kisses. “I’ve gone longer than this without seeing you.”

“I know.” Eggsy presses Harry against the counter and practically climbs him like a tree. “Flight home was tha WORST. You was all I could think about.”

“Mmmmm.” Harry moans a bit as Eggsy rubs their bodies together. “What would you like to do next?” He asks finally once they let each other up for air. “Bath? Dinner? I could order in, or we could go out…we haven’t been for fish and chips in a long time.”

“All of that sounds fuckin’ ACES, ‘arry. How about I take a bath an’ wash tha flight off…an’ then fish an’ chips fer sure.”

“Wonderful.” Harry gives him one more kiss and sends him upstairs. 

When Eggsy returns thirty minutes later Harry is on the sofa in the parlor scrolling through some emails. Eggsy’s wearing jeans and his favorite hoodie, looking relaxed and rested. “Much better,” he says with a sigh. “M’fuckin’ starvin’, though.”

“Well, then, let’s get you something to eat. The cab’s waiting.”

Eggsy takes Harry’s hand on the walk and doesn’t let go, even as they climb into the backseat. He snuggles close, his head on Harry’s shoulder. “Missed this. Missed the…quiet. New York’s fun an’ all that, but it’s just so crazy. Always goin’ goin’ goin’.” 

“I thought you’d enjoy the hustle and bustle.”

“Sometimes at night it was fun…she threw her name around a lot, got us into VIP rooms an’ all that. But…I prefer this.” That idea makes Harry swoon. Eggsy had the opportunity to act his age, go out with a pretty girl, dance the night away in exclusive clubs. But he missed this…sitting with a middle-aged man, going to a dirty pub for fish and chips.

“I love you.” Harry kisses the top of Eggsy’s head.

“Love you, too, Haz.” He’s silent for a moment. “Maybe someday we could go there. I think I’d have a good time with you. We could walk through Central Park…maybe do one of those carriages?”

“Such a romantic,” Harry teases, and he’s rewarded with a poke to the leg. 

“Have ya ever done all that tourist tuff? Like the Empire State Building or Statue of Liberty?”

“No, I haven’t,” Harry says. “That does sound like a nice trip. We’ll have to think about that in the future.”

“Definitely,” Eggsy says firmly.

They arrive at Eggsy’s favorite pub and go to their usual table. “Evening, gents.” The waitress is a woman whose age is a mystery and who treats them both like her sons. “Missed your faces.”

“Sorry, Bernadette…work,” Eggsy says apologetically.

“Didn’t know tailor work kept you from eating.” She glares at him. “You look like you’ve lost weight.”

“No, ma’am, swear down. Baggy clothes, that’s all.”

“Very well.” She looks at Harry. “And YOU, Mr. Hart. Are you taking good care of my boy here?”

“As much as he’ll let me,” Harry says, smiling fondly at Eggsy.

“The usual?” They nod and she walks away.

“Oh. I almost forgot.” Harry reaches for his pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper. “I spent some time with your mother a few days ago. We had a very nice tea. Daisy drew me a picture and made me promise to keep it in my wallet.” He hands it to Eggsy. He smiles as Eggsy’s face lights up. “Let me explain it to you. That’s JB, obviously.” Harry points to a brown blob with a pink tongue. “And your mother, you can tell by the dress. That’s Daisy.”

“What is she riding?”

“A pony, of course, although I incorrectly guessed dinosaur. I was given a stern reprimand.” Eggsy laughs. “And this…” Harry points to the two stick figures holding hands. One is wearing glasses, and the other a very large snapback. “This is us, of course.”

“And what’s that? A balloon or sommat?” Eggsy points to a red shape between their heads.

“That’s a heart,” Harry says softly. Eggsy swallows deeply. Harry smiles a little. He’d had a similar reaction. “So…there you go. I’m sorry you weren’t given a Daisy Baker original…but you weren’t here. And you don’t bring her sweets when you visit.” He folded it back up and put it in his wallet.

“So you bribe her.”

“I do no such thing.”

Bernadette returns with a lager for Eggsy and a Guinness for Harry. “Glad I brought her a present, then. Stuffed bear dressed like the Statue of Liberty.”

“She’ll love it,” Harry says. “It sounds like you had a lot of free time if you were buying souvenirs.”

“Oi! Keep talkin’ like that an’ ya won’t get YER present,” Eggsy tells him. “Yeah, had some free time. She liked ta sleep late. I was up an’ gone early every mornin’. Slept in my hotel room durin’ tha late afternoon.”

“I saw her picture. She’s a very lovely young lady.” Harry tried not to sound like he cares.

“She is. An’ she’s also a fuckin’ cokehead, ‘arry, who uses her money ta fund illegal operations. Weren’t just a party…was my job.” Harry feels a foot slide up and down his calf. “An’ she ain’t you.”

“I would hope not. Cocaine would never be my drug of choice.”

“Oh really? And what would that be?”

“You,” Harry says honestly, shocking Eggsy into silence.

Bernadette returns again with their food and they dig in. “So…Merlin said you was keepin’ an eye on me while I was gone?”

Harry blushes. “You could say that,” he says in what he hopes is a casual tone.

“Ya missed me,” Eggsy says with a grin, blowing on a chip before eating it.

“I suppose I did. And when I had free time…”

“…ya annoyed Merlin by askin’ about me.” Eggsy’s smile is luminous. “I like knowin’ that.”

“Well, Merlin’s been an annoying thorn in MY side for years. I have no problem paying him back.” Harry can’t keep the smile from his face as he looks at his boy.

“Ya can’t always do that, Haz.”

“I most certainly can. I’m Arthur. It’s my job to keep an eye on all my agents.”

“Yeah, okay, ‘arry.” Eggsy rolls his eyes and goes back to his food.

 

“So, what would you like to do now, my boy?” Harry closes the front door and locks it. “We could watch some television…or perhaps you’re tired. If you wish to go to bed early, I understand.”

“I’m not tired, but goin’ ta bed early don’t sound like a bad idea.” Eggsy leans back against the door and smiles up at Harry. Harry feels his knees go week.

“If that’s what you want.” 

Eggsy takes Harry by the necktie and pulls him in close. “Oh, it’s what I want.” He tilts his head up and Harry kisses him.

“Tart.”

“Yep.” Eggsy bites Harry’s chin. “Lemme take care of JB quick.” Eggsy heads for the kitchen and JB’s crate.

Things have been progressing at a slow yet steady pace between them, and actual sex is the only logical next step…but Harry’s petrified. He’s been with many men before, but he really doesn’t think he’s ever been anyone’s first lover. His number one concern is letting Eggsy down.

Eggsy returns rather quickly and they head upstairs. “Eggsy…” Harry begins.

“Gonna freshen up a bit.” Eggsy motions to the en suite.

“All right.” Harry waits for the door to close before hurrying over to the nightstand. He gets out a condom and lube and carefully places it within reach. He curses himself for being so nervous. He gives himself a mental shake and starts to undress.

Eggsy soon reappears wearing Harry’s dressing gown and a smile. He goes to his duffel and pulls out a box. “Would you like your present?”

“Is it wrapped in a red dressing gown?” Harry carefully hangs up his jacket and tie and tosses his shirt in the hamper.

“Cute.” Eggsy sits on the bed and pats it. “C’mere.”

Harry removes his shoes and socks before coming to the bed. “Thank you,” he says as Eggsy hands him the box. He sits down next to Eggsy, who immediately squirms closer so their legs are touching.

“It’s silly, but I thought you’d like it.” Harry pulls a snow globe from the box. He tilts it this way and that to watch the snow fall. “It’s Central Park,” Eggsy tells him. “Thought it was pretty. Calming, ain’t it? Thought you could use it if you was stressed at work or somethin’…just relax an’ take some time ta look at it, refocus.”

“You take such good care of me.” Harry kisses him. “Thank you, my darling boy.” He places the snow globe on the nightstand.

Eggsy’s eyebrows raise as he catches sight of the condom and lubricant. “Someone’s got hopes for this evening.”

“Someone plans for every possible outcome,” Harry gently corrects.

Eggsy stands up and removes the dressing gown, letting it puddle to the floor. “I might have hopes for this evening as well.”

“God you’re gorgeous,” Harry says in a tight voice. 

“Thank ya. I’m also feelin’ mighty underdressed.” Eggsy crawls up Harry’s body, kissing his way up Harry’s chest. He sucks at Harry’s neck before kissing his lips. “Wanna help remedy that situation?”

“I’d be happy to.” Harry kisses Eggsy for a long time before moving to undress. He actually doesn’t even stop kissing him to do that; they both work on removing Harry’s trousers and pants. 

“I love yer body, ‘arry. Yer so fuckin’ fit. So strong an’ tall…fuck…” Eggsy grabs Harry’s hip as he bites delicious marks along Harry’s chest.

“You’re one to talk.” Harry groans and lets his head fall back. His hands slide down to grab Eggsy’s arse, kneading the tight muscles and pulling Eggsy flush against his body.

“Want ya so bad, ‘arry. Feel like I’ve been waitin’ forever for you.” Eggsy licks a line down to one of Harry’s nipples, teasing and nursing until it’s hard and red.

“I’ll take care of you, my boy. I’ll make it wonderful for you.” Harry flips Eggsy onto his back and starts to kiss his way down his body.

“I know ya will, Haz. That’s why I waited fer ya,” Eggsy says almost shyly. Harry hums against Eggsy’s skin, his words not completely registering. “I just hope…I hope I’m good.”

“You’re perfect.”

“No, I mean…Christ!” Eggsy hisses as Harry bites his hipbone, worrying the thin skin between his teeth. “I never…I never done it before. Like actual fuckin’. So I don’t know if I’ll be any good.”

“I know that, my love. I’ll take very good care of you, take it as slowly as you need.”

“Wait.” Eggsy gently shoves his head up. “Harry, what do ya mean?”

“Hmm?”

“What do ya mean, ya know that?”

Harry slowly sits up, his heard beating triple-time for an entirely new reason. “I…I know that if we do this, I’ll be your first.”

Eggsy’s eyes are like saucers. “How…how do ya know that?”

“Eggsy…”

“How?” Eggsy slowly pulls a pillow over to hide his nakedness and Harry winces. That’s not good.

“I’m sure you told me at one time or another,” Harry tries.

“Harry, I ain’t never told anyone that. Roxy don’t even know.” Eggsy’s face is terrible and Harry’s finding it hard to breathe.

“While you were in the coma…I chased JB into your bedroom and…your journal was on the bed.”

“What?” Eggsy turns pale.

“I’m sorry. I know it was an incredible invasion of your privacy, but I was so worried about you. I started reading and I simply couldn’t stop.” Harry hangs his head.

“You read my journal,” Eggsy says dully.

“Yes. I’m sorry, my love. So sorry. Not only for reading your journal, but for what you’ve been through. Your childhood…”

“Ain’t never had a childhood,” Eggsy snaps. “Ain’t been a child since I were ten. Had to grow up right quick, didn’t I? But I guess ya know that, seein’ as how ya read my journal.”

“Eggsy…”

“So ya know I’m a virgin, then, huh?”

“Yes, but darling, it doesn’t matter.”

“Well, that’s good, then,” Eggsy says sarcastically. “Ya know I was fuckin’ pinin’ for ya, how much of an idiot I was about ya?”

“Yes, but…you weren’t an idiot. Don’t you see? I was feeling the same way all along. I told you that.”

“Can I believe ya?” Eggsy spits. He starts to say something, then stops. “Ya read tha whole thing?”

“Yes,” Harry whispers, face red with shame.

“So…so ya know everythin’. About Dean.”

“About how he abused you and your mother? Yes.”

“About what he made me do. About how I brought money in.”

“Eggsy, it really doesn’t matter. What matters is…”

“Did ya read that part, Harry?” Eggsy’s voice is like ice, his eyes cold and hateful.

“Eggsy…”

“Didya read where I was a fuckin’ rentboy on Smith Street, how I sucked cocks an’ fingered arseholes for money?” Eggsy yells.

Harry rears back. “Yes,” he says sadly. “But…”

“Ya said ya told me yer feelings cuz I were in a coma, that ya had ta tell me. But it wasn’t cuz of tha coma, was it? It’s cuz ya read my journal.” Eggsy pulls himself off the bed and goes to the en suite.

“Eggsy, that’s not true. I was honest when I told you I’ve had these feelings for a long time.” Harry feels tears actually spring to his eyes.

Eggsy returns to the bedroom in his jeans and hoodie. “Ya read my journal an’ saw tha story of a chav kid from the estates, a rentboy who was arse over tits in love with ya. What a perfect victim for ya, wasn’t I?”

“Eggsy!” Harry gasps. “I never…”

“Ya didn’t even hafta work very hard, cuz I was ready an’ willin’, wasn’t I? Surprised ya waited this long ta get a leg over.”

“Please, my boy, don’t say such things. It’s so far from the truth,” Harry pleads.

“Didya ever think that maybe I put all that in a journal cuz I didn’t want ya ta fuckin’ KNOW?” Eggsy snaps. “Maybe I wanted ya ta see me as somethin’ more than a whore.”

“You aren’t a whore, Eggsy. And I never saw you that way. Please, sit down so we can talk about this.”

“Ain’t nothin’ ta say. Ya invaded my privacy, just like ya said. Ya led me on all this time, makin’ me think I was special. But ya knew all tha time what I was. What I tried ta hide.” Tears spill down Eggsy’s cheeks and he doesn’t try to stop them. “What was I thinking? Posh gent like you, filthy street rat like me. It would never work out.” He shoves his feet into his shoes.

“Eggsy, where are you going?”

“Away from you. I’ll be back for JB, if you’d let him stay here for a few days til I get on my feet.” He turns on one heel and leaves the room before Harry can say another word.

“Eggsy!” Harry yells after him. He jumps as he hears the door slam.


	8. Chapter 8

EIGHT

Eggsy grabs his phone and keys on the way out the door, not stopping to think twice. His heart is beating in his ears and he can barely breathe. He hurries down the sidewalk as if the police are after him, but he knows Harry’s not following him. He’s sure Harry’s still sitting naked on the bed, stunned at his revelation.

Eggsy angrily wipes at his tears as he walks, not even paying attention to where he’s going. His mind is a whirlwind of emotions. Anger at Harry’s invasion of his most private thoughts. Hurt at the way Harry used what he knew. Shame at the knowledge that Harry knows what he’d done in his past. He should have known better. Things weren’t going to end up moonlight and roses for him, they never did. Everything good was always temporary.

He walks for over an hour before he realizes that he doesn’t know where he’s going. He finally calls for a Kingsman cab. “Headquarters,” he says. His head falls back onto the seat and he finally sobs.

 

Harry stares at the doorway of the bedroom, hoping against hope that Eggsy will come running back through it. Of course that doesn’t happen. As if hypnotized, Harry slowly gets up, pulls on trousers and a jumper, and goes downstairs. JB is whimpering in his crate and Harry lets him out. 

“I…I must apologize, Mr. Bauer. It seems that your Daddy had…had to go away.” Harry picks him up and hugs him. “I made him go away.” Harry sits on a kitchen chair and JB scrambles to the ground. He trots out of the room, probably looking for Eggsy.

Harry stares at the wall. He knew Eggsy would probably be very angry that Harry poked into his things without permission. But he NEVER thought Eggsy would jump to such horrible conclusions. He thought that Harry used him, thinking he’d be an easy mark for sex. It hurts a bit…Eggsy thinking that Harry would be capable of such a thing. Harry hopes that Eggsy simply wasn’t thinking rationally, that he’d realize later that the idea was simply ridiculous.

Harry’s read books where the hero or heroine wanted to die of a broken heart. He’d often though it an over exaggeration. No one’s emotions were that tied to their physical well-being. He realized now that he’d been horribly wrong. He makes himself a cup of tea and goes into the parlor, where JB is staring mournfully at Eggsy’s favorite chair. He looks at Harry and growls a bit. “Yes, Mr. Bauer, I understand. You’re not calling me anything worse than I’m calling myself right now.”

JB yips at him, turns around, and goes back to the kitchen. Harry gets up to find his phone, and then sits back down on the sofa. He calls Eggsy’s number, which of course goes directly to voicemail. “Darling, I won’t bother you again, I just ask…I ask that you let me know you’re all right. Even if it’s a message through someone else. I want to know you’re safe. I love you so much, my darling boy…I’m so sorry that I hurt or shamed you in any way. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, and one of the best knights Kingsman’s ever seen. I love you.”

 

“Did I lose a bet?”

Eggsy yawns and stretches, cursing as he hits his head on a wall. “Wha? Oh, sorry, bruv.” He slowly climbs to his feet and stretches, leaning on Merlin’s door as he does so. “Wanted ta see ya first thing, and couldn’t crack tha code on yer door.”

“Of course you couldn’t. Silly boy.” Merlin quickly enters his code and opens the door. “I didn’t know you got up this early.”

“Been here since last night.”

Merlin takes a good look at him and shuts the door behind them. “Make tea, please.”

“Yes, Merlin.” Eggsy goes over and starts the water. He hears the hum of machines as Merlin turns on all of his equipment before hanging up his jacket. 

Merlin waits until they’re settled around his desk before speaking again. “So. What can I do for you, Galahad?”

“Have you spoken ta Arthur at all?” Eggsy asks. He absolutely will not call him Harry. They’re no longer lovers, no longer friends.

“No. Is he all right?”

“He was when I left his arse last night.”

“That’s good.” Merlin simply sits and waits. 

“I need a place ta stay.” Merlin’s eyebrows raise but he still refrains from speaking. “Me an’ ‘arry…I mean, Arthur an’ I can no longer share a living space, an’ I’m askin’ fer a flat somewhere. Don’t need ta be big or fancy. Just a place ta keep my stuff an’ shower an’ sleep. Furnished, if possible.”

“Of course, Galahad. All agents are provided with living space.”

“Thank ya.” Eggsy blows on his tea but doesn’t drink it. Merlin waits some more. “Did ‘arry…Arthur…tell ya he read my journal?”

“He mentioned it, yes.” Eggsy’s mouth drops open. “I’m not going to lie to you, lad. It does no good.”

“What did he tell ya?”

“He told me that you’ve been through some horrible experiences, things that no child should have to endure. He told me how you worked to help your mother and sister, doing whatever possible to keep them safe, to bring money into the home.”

“Like fuckin’ fer money. An’ sellin’ drugs. Jesus Christ, forgot about tha drugs. Fuck.” Eggsy buries his face in his hands. “So, he doesn’t just know I’m a whore, he knows I’m a junkie fuckin’ whore.”

“Recovering junkie,” Merlin points out. 

“Anything else? Did he tell ya how I went on an’ on about how much I fancied him?”

“No,” Merlin says. Eggsy’s head shoots up. “He simply said that he found out you felt about him the same way he felt about you. He’d told me about it long before he read your journal.”

“Oh.” So Harry hadn’t lied about that part. 

“I take it he finally came clean?” Merlin asks gently.

“Yeah. Came out tonight, didn’t it.”

“He’s been struggling with the guilt ever since he read it,” Merlin tells him. “He knew it was wrong, but he did it anyway, and then had to deal with the aftermath.”

“Funny, I have no pity for him.” Eggsy stands. “I’m going to be staying here at HQ until you can set things up with the flat.”

“Very well. It shouldn’t take but a day.”

“Thanks. Appreciate it.”

“Eggsy…”

“Please don’t tell me that he loves me, that it was a mistake, that I need ta forgive him,” Eggsy says tiredly.

“I wasn’t going to. I was going to tell you to go get some rest, that you will not be disturbed unless completely necessary. I’ll send a few things up to the room…toiletries, a set of pajamas, some clothing. You’ll find a phone charger in the desk.”

“Thanks, Merlin. You’re tha guv.”

“So I’ve been told.” Merlin gives him a kind smile as he lets himself out of the office.

 

Harry puts on his favorite suit, the one that truly does feel like a suit of armor. He hasn’t slept more than an hour, but puttering around the house and seeing all the places Eggsy isn’t will do him no good. He’s a Kingsman agent, he’s Arthur. His place is at the head of his Table. He feeds JB, pets him, and promises someone will be along to take care of him later. He doesn’t tell him it will be Eggsy. He can’t even tell himself that.

He lets himself into his office and makes a cup of tea. He stares at a sea of emails without seeing them and finally goes down to Merlin’s office an hour after his arrival at HQ. “Good morning, Arthur.”

“Merlin. May I sit?”

“Of course.”

They look at each other for a long moment. “May I ask if you’ve seen Agent Galahad?”

“Yes. I have.”

“Oh, thank Christ,” Harry whispers. “I just…I wanted to make sure he was safe.”

“He is.” Merlin provides no further information and Harry’s angry for just a moment. Merlin is HIS best friend. But Merlin’s job is to look after the knights, and Harry knows he’s doing just that. 

“I may have buggered things up beyond repair, Merlin.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Merlin sighs.

“One of the things in the journal…Eggsy…although he worked the streets for a time, he never…he never had complete…he’s a virgin,” Harry finishes. “Last night we were in an intimate situation and that came up. I let slip that I knew already, and…everything came out.”

“I see.”

“He thinks I lied about my feelings for him. He thinks that I used the information in the journal to start a relationship with him.” The words come pouring out before Harry can stop them. “He thinks that because I know of his past, I’m using it to sleep with him. That I knew I wouldn’t have to work very hard to get him into bed because of what he did so long ago.”

“He knows you didn’t lie about your feelings,” Merlin says quietly. “I set him straight on that.”

“Oh, well…thank you, I suppose.” Harry sighs. “I tried to explain…”

“He’s angry and hurt, Harry. More than that, he’s embarrassed. Ashamed.”

“He said there’s no way we could ever work out, because I’m a posh gent and he’s a ‘filthy street rat.’ I believe those were the words he used.” Harry digs his fingers into his thigh. “If he’s just talk to me, let me explain it all.”

“He needs time, Harry. You cannot press this.”

“I know.” Harry sighs. “The last thing I want to do is chase him away.”

“Then don’t.” Merlin walks over and puts a hand on his shoulder. “For right now, you need to treat him like any other knight. He is Galahad, and you are Arthur. He’s on leave for the rest of the week, of course, and he’ll be settling into his new flat.” Harry bites back a whine at the thought of Eggsy living anywhere but with him. “Then he’ll be going out into the field…I have a mission I was planning on giving him anyway. Perhaps after some time, and some work, he’ll be ready to speak with you.”

“Perhaps.”

“I’m sorry, Harry.”

Harry reaches up and squeezes the hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, Merlin.”

 

Harry decides to bury himself in his work, and for the next two days, that helps. He lives at his desk during the day, and at night he busies himself taking care of JB. After work on the third day, however, he comes home to a different world. Eggsy’s hats and jackets are gone from the entryway. His clothes are out of the closet, and his paperwork is gone from the makeshift office in the library. With heavy feet, Harry plods to the kitchen. JB and all of his accessories are gone…and Eggsy’s key is on the kitchen table. Harry falls to his knees and sobs.


	9. Chapter 9

NINE

It’s been five days but to Harry it’s an eternity. He hasn’t even had Eggsy all that long, a little over a month. But being without him for five days? An eternity. His house seems empty and large. No JB yipping and barking and playing with his toys. No Eggsy laughing and playing games on his phone and making a mess. Just Harry. Old and stupid and alone in his house.

He hasn’t seen Eggsy, not even in the corridors at HQ. Merlin’s taken pity on Harry and at least informed him that Eggsy’s no longer staying at the mansion, that he’s settled in to his own flat and is living there now. He doesn’t tell Harry where it is and Harry doesn’t ask. He’s invaded Eggsy’s privacy enough. He doesn’t plan on doing it again.

On the morning of the sixth day, Harry’s sitting at his desk playing with the snowglobe from Eggsy. He absently turns upside down and watches the flakes settle to the ground. “Enter,” he sighs as someone knocks on his door. 

“Good morning, Arthur.”

“Merlin, hello. Have some tea. Take a seat,” Harry says, sighing again.

“Jesus Christ, Harry, you’ve lost a boyfriend, not gotten a tumor.” Merlin rolls his eyes as he pours his tea. “So overdramatic.”

“Can I help you with something, Merlin?”

“I simply wanted to go over the agenda for today’s Table meeting.”

“Oh, yes. Of course.” Harry clears his throat, stretches his arms over his head, and sits up a bit straighter. “You have my undivided attention.”

“Good.” Merlin sits down and taps at his clipboard. “There it is.”

“Bedivere…Rio. Lamorak…New Zealand. Lancelot is still in Cairo, so that’s going well.” Harry looks up at Merlin. “Galahad’s going to Athens?”

“Yes. We need him there…massive arms deal going on, he can get us the intel quicker than anyone else.”

“I see. Any idea how long?”

“No, Harry, I’m not sure.”

“I see,” Harry says again. “Well, the meeting should go rather quickly.” He slowly looks up at Merlin. “Can you…”

“Yes, Harry, I’ll lead it, of course. I’ve put the missions together, so it’s only fitting.”

“Excellent.”

“Excellent.” Merlin stands and goes to leave. He slowly turns around. “Harry, I’ve tried very hard to stay out of this. You’re my oldest and dearest friend, of course, but I’m quite fond of Eggsy as well.”

“I know. And I’ve tried very hard not to pull you into it.” Harry means that. He knows Merlin’s on his side, but Eggsy’s an agent, and dealing with agents is Merlin’s job.

“I will tell you one thing. He’s not any happier than you are.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I know how you think. You sit at night, drink in hand, staring at a television you don’t really see. You imagine him out on dates, perhaps even bringing someone back to his flat. That’s not the case.”

“Spying on us again, Merlin?” Harry tries to joke.

“No. As I said, I know you. And I know him fairly well also. He looks horrible, Harry. He most definitely isn’t out every night trying to get a leg over. He misses you, but he’s too stubborn to admit it.”

“I don’t stare at the telly,” Harry says defensively. “I stare at the same page of a book for hours at a time.” Merlin grins. “I appreciate that, Merlin…thank you.”

“I’ll see you at the meeting.”

 

Harry makes sure he’s settled in the conference room a good fifteen minutes before the meeting is scheduled to start. He knows Merlin will probably have a heart attack, but he wants to be there, settled and comfortable in his space, before anyone arrives. He must be professional. This is Arthur, whose heart belongs to Kingsman. Not Harry Hart, whose heart belongs to Eggsy.

He’s not at all surprised that Eggsy’s the last agent to arrive. He usually is one of the first, but Harry’s quite certain he’s doing everything he can to avoid speaking with Harry. Even with Merlin’s warning Harry is shocked at Eggsy’s appearance. He’s neatly put together in one of his best suits, but his face is pale and there are bags under his eyes. Harry knows that look very well. He sees it in the mirror every morning.

“All right, gentlemen and lady, let’s get this show on the road.” Merlin breezes into the room. “Bedivere…let’s talk about Rio.” They normally address the agents alphabetically when it comes to missions and this is no exception. Harry takes notes, asks questions, and does everything Arthur is supposed to do. That is, until Merlin says, “Galahad…I sent you the information regarding the group in Athens. Thoughts?”

“Well, it’s not our usual group of suspects, is it?” Eggsy says, and Harry quickly flips through his pile of paperwork. It isn’t. This is a new group, one they’re quite unfamiliar with. “How’d we even hear about these idiots, anyway?”

“MI-6 shoved them our way,” Merlin says with an eyeroll.

“Lovely how they expect us to clean up their messes,” Harry says with a sigh. “If their boss wasn’t such a lovely woman, I wouldn’t say yes quite as often.”

“That’s because you and M are peas in a pod,” Merlin comments. Harry gives him an evil look and everyone tries to hide their smiles. Except Eggsy. He doesn’t smile. Harry’s own smile fades. “I trust you on this, Galahad. It’s nothing you haven’t come up against before, and we’ll have Bors and Tristan nearby for backup, should you need it.”

“I value the trust you have in me, Merlin. Thank you.” Eggsy quickly glances at Harry before looking down at his lap.

“All right then.” Harry feels a foot press against his and looks at Merlin. Merlin’s face is stoic, but he knows the gesture was one of sympathy. “On to other business,” Merlin says, tapping at his clipboard and bringing something up on the large wall screen. “These are the new rifles we’ve ordered.”

The meeting wraps up an hour later and the agents in the room start to depart. Harry takes a deep breath. “Galahad, if I could have a word?”

Eggsy freezes at the door before slowly turning around. “Certainly, Arthur.” He steps aside so the other agents can leave. Merlin busies himself with adjustments to the wall screen and Harry’s grateful for his presence. This way neither he nor Eggsy can let things get out of hand. Once the door is closed behind the last agent, Eggsy respectfully says, “Yes, sir?”

 _I love you!_ Harry cries inside his head. _I was a complete and utter fool, and I would give up any internal organ to have you back, my darling beautiful boy_. Instead he says, “About Athens…I trust Merlin, of course, and the intel he’s managed to gather, but I ask that you be careful.”

“I’m always careful, sir.” Eggsy’s tone is neutral.

“Of course, you’re an exemplary agent,” Harry says. It’s obvious by his tone that he’s being sincere, and Eggsy nods his head in thanks. “I just…whenever an agent’s dealing with something like this, uncharted territory…it makes me a bit nervous. Chester never seemed to care, but I do. I worry about my agents and fear for their safety, no matter who it is. I simply ask that you…take care.” Harry fidgets a bit, wanting to reach out for Eggsy and hold him. Instead he clenches and unclenches his fists at his side.

“Thank you for your concern, Arthur. I promise to take all necessary precautions and do my best to return safely.” For one moment Harry sees his Eggsy, the young man who loves his job and wants to make Harry proud. “Is there anything else?” His eyes seem to dare Harry to say something.

“N-no. That is all. Safe travels.”

Eggsy nods again. “Good afternoon, Arthur. Merlin.”

“Good afternoon, Galahad,” Merlin says quietly.

Harry slowly sits down as the door closes behind Eggsy. “Well.”

“You did good, Harry.” Merlin comes over and puts his hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“I’ve never been in love before,” Harry says quietly. “Now I know why.”

 

Eggsy stares out the window of the Kingsman jet, looking at the clouds but not really seeing him. He remembers the night he and Harry had cuddled in bed, talking about V-Day and everything they’d gone through. Harry had talked about facing the barrel of Valentine’s gun, and how it felt to wake up surrounded by strangers at Kingsman. He talked about the moment he recognized Eggsy, and how happy he was to see him. Eggsy told him about watching Harry in the church, watching him fall to the ground. He told him about Chester and the end of it all, the way the brains exploded into puffs of colorful smoke. They held each other and cried. 

He sighs and shakes his head. That won’t do him any good right now. He needs to forget about Harry. He needs to move on.

“Agent Galahad, we’re moving into silent airspace shortly, if you wish to make any calls,” the pilot says over the intercom.

“Thanks.” Eggsy quickly dials his phone. “Mum, hey Mum.”

“Eggsy, babe, where ya been? Ain’t seen ya in forever.”

“Sorry, Mum, busy with work. That’s why I’m callin’…on my way ta Greece right now. We’re thinkin’ of openin’ a new shop there, sendin’ me ta scout things out.”

“I’m so proud of you, Eggsy. You’ve been all over the world for this job.”

“Yeah, Mum.” He closes his eyes. “Mum, just wanted ya ta know how much I love ya.”

“I love you, too, babe. Everything all right?”

“Not right now,” Eggsy admits. “But I’ll make it all right.”

 

Harry leaves the restaurant feeling pleasantly full and a bit tipsy. The third glass of wine MIGHT have been overkill, but it was an excellent vintage and paired perfectly with his dinner. He doesn’t call a cab and instead starts to walk down the street, peeking into the shops as he goes. He’s found that if he doesn’t eat at home, it makes the evening go faster. He can bring reading materials to look over as he eats, and then he almost enjoys himself. 

He smiles at the display in a stationery shop, impressed by the beautiful cards and letter writing materials in the window. Too bad people don’t write each other the way they used to. He always enjoyed writing letters as well as receiving them. It was just so much more personal than an email or text. He stands before the shop, deep in thought. Before he can stop himself, he goes inside.

An hour later he’s seated at his desk in his home office, a cup of tea and small journal in front of him. There’s a large pug gracing the cover, and Harry’d thought of Eggsy as soon as he saw it in the shop. He goes into the desk, pulls out his favorite pen, and opens the journal. He stares into space for a moment, then puts pen to paper. _My dearest Eggsy…I realize as I sit with this empty book in front of me that you know very little of my life before Kingsman…_


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And things go a little epistolary again...just for a bit.

“You know, you don’t need to be here.” Merlin looks at Harry over his glasses.

“I’m Arthur. It’s my job to monitor my agents’ missions and make sure everything is going well.”

“Actually, Arthur, that’s MY job. YOUR job is to look pretty, sign forms, and let me order whatever items I need to keep this place running.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” Harry leans forward to watch the monitors. “This is Galahad’s feed, then?”

“Yes. He’s infiltrated the group and is working as a hired thug. We’re hoping he can make his way into the office today and retrieve the intel. The weapons deal is supposed to go down in three days.”

“And he’ll be long gone by then,” Harry says hopefully.

“You need to trust him to do his job, Harry,” Merlin says gently.

Harry glares at him. “I DO trust him.”

“Can you trust me to do mine, then?” Harry opens his mouth and closes it again. “Harry, I value the lives of my agents above my own life. You know that. I will get him home safely.”

“I know. I do. I just…all right.” Harry stands. “The item I entrusted to your care…”

“…is in its proper place,” Merlin finishes. “Trust me, old friend.”

“I do.” Harry squeezes Merlin’s shoulder and stands. “I promise I absolutely will not be watching this feed from my office.”

“I know you won’t, because I blocked access on your computer.” Merlin gives him a beautiful smile.

 

“Is there anybody going to listen to my story, all about the girl who came to stay,” Eggsy sings as he walks down the hall. His hands are in his pockets and he’s loping at a casual pace, smiling and nodding at everyone he passes. “She’s the kind of girl you want so much it makes you sorry, still you don’t regret a single day…”

“You have a lovely voice, William,” one of the secretaries shyly tells him.

“Aren’t ya sweet fer sayin’ so, luv?” He chucks her under the chin and keeps walking. 

Everyone thinks he’s a chav from the streets of London, a brash bit of rough named William who has a list of victims under his belt at the young age of twenty-six. Merlin’s created quite the backstory for him, one that easily checked out when the group started looking into his past. He’s already become a favorite of the office staff as well as the men he’s been working with. He does what they tell him without question, and he’s a flirtatious charmer with the women in the office, although he doesn’t dare touch anyone. He doesn’t need THAT complication.

He spends the next twenty minutes wandering through the halls of their headquarters, making small talk and helping some of the secretaries pack up their things for the day. He even carries an older woman’s bag to her car for her…she reminds him of his Gran. Once the building’s almost empty, he slides back inside and finds a place to lay low. 

As he sits in a closet waiting for his moment to plant the bugs in the main office, he thinks of home. He thinks of Harry, of course. When Harry asked him to stay after the meeting, he’d been nervous. He wanted to blurt everything out, tell Harry how much he loved and missed him. But the pain, the embarrassment, it was still too raw. Harry had to see the chasm between them, the pile of differences that kept them apart. It was best to end it now. He could almost forgive the invasion of privacy; he knew enough about Harry to realize it was not an intentional insult. He knew that Harry would never use what he’d read in the journal to feed his own selfish desires. Harry was a gentleman.

And Eggsy wasn’t. Not deep down.

“Okay, Merlin, I’m movin’ in,” Eggsy mutters after he taps the side of his glasses. 

“You know the drill, lad. Get into the computer and back out. Leave and head for the city. Make it to the rendezvous point and you will be retrieved within thirty minutes.”

“Gotcha.” Eggsy takes a deep breath, goes into Galahad mode, and opens the door of the closet.

 

“Agent Galahad, sir.” The co-pilot gently shakes Eggsy. “We’re about to land, sir. I need you to sit up and put your seatbelt on.”

“Oh. Of course. Sorry.” Eggsy rubs at his eyes and sits up.

“Don’t apologize. It’s a credit to our skill if we kept things smooth enough for you to sleep for the last three hours.”

“Think I fell asleep before we were even off the ground.” Eggsy rubs at his eyes some more. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

Eggsy moves to a seat by the window and buckles himself in. He loves watching London come into view, loves seeing the hustle and bustle of the city as the plane heads to HQ. He begins to mentally organize his report as the jet finally lands on the pad and is lowered into the hangar. “I hope your mission went well, Agent Galahad,” the pilot says as Eggsy heads for the door.

“It did. Thank you for getting me back safe.”

He immediately heads for Merlin’s office. Before, before everything, he’d loved the idea of going to Harry upon his return from a mission, sitting and staring at that handsome face as he gave his report. But that’s not to be, obviously, so he goes to Merlin.

“Agent Galahad. So happy to see you back safe and sound.” Merlin raises an eyebrow. “This might be a record. I don’t think you’ve ever come back without at least a scratch or bruise.”

“Funny.” 

“Arthur will be pleased.” Eggsy frowns. “That you completed your mission successfully, of course.” Merlin’s face is a mask of innocence.

“Again, funny. Can we get this over with? I wanna pick up my dog from the kennel an’ go home.”

“Very well. Start from the beginning.” Merlin’s all business, tapping away at his clipboard.

Forty minutes later Eggsy’s on the bullet train with JB’s crate on the seat next to him. He bids Andrew good night in the shop and thankfully crawls into the backset of a Kingsman cab. Once outside his flat he clips JB’s leash on and lets him do his business on the small patch of grass out front. He takes him upstairs, welcoming the familiar smells of home. His stomach growls and reminds him that there’s probably very little in the fridge, and he’ll have to order out. He calls his favorite Chinese delivery place and places a large order; Chinese leftovers are almost better than fresh Chinese food. He leaves JB to wander around the first floor and inform him of any knocks at the door while he goes upstairs to take a quick shower and change his clothes.

He’s coming back down the stairs when the doorbell rings. JB loses his mind at the thought of a visitor and Eggsy has to yell at him to be quiet as he opens the door. He pays for his food and takes it into the kitchen. He freezes when he sees something on the table, a journal with a JB lookalike on the cover. There’s a small note on the table, and he very slowly opens it. _Eggsy – Rest assured that I have not again invaded your privacy. Merlin made sure to leave this where you would find it. I deserve nothing from you, but I ask that you only read what’s inside this journal. HH_

Eggsy pushes the journal to the side and prepares a large plate of food. He pours himself a fizzy drink and heads for the television in the living room. He sits down, reaches for the remote, and sighs. He gets back up and heads for the kitchen, situating himself at the table. He finishes half his plate before he gives in and opens the journal.

 

_My dearest Eggsy…I realize as I sit with this empty book in front of me that you know very little of my life before Kingsman. I feel it is only proper to give you insight into that part of me, as I’ve been fortunate enough to learn about your life before meeting me. You have no reason to trust me, but please know that everything I put in this journal is the truth. I will hold nothing back, nothing will be exaggerated or omitted to place me in a better light. I am far from perfect, as you will see when…if…you continue to read._

_I was born to a wealthy couple who had children because it was expected. I don’t believe either of them truly wanted a child, but it was what one did, so they did it. Not that they were horrible people, not in the slightest. After reading what you went through during your youth, I realize how lucky I was with my family circumstances. At any rate, Mother had me and three weeks later they were off to Monaco for a festival at the castle. Needless to say, I did not go along._

_That was the story of my childhood, really. Mother and Father came and went and I was raised by a succession of nannies. I even had a wet nurse…sounds quite medieval, doesn’t it? Thankfully every person they hired to take care of me was a warm and gentle soul, and I flourished in their care. Mother was the pretty lady who smelled like gardenias and kissed my cheek, and Father was the towering man who occasionally gave me a piece of candy if I said I’d been good. I suppose my tendency toward spending time on my own started then. I didn’t really have anyone else. There were a few children in our neighborhood, but their parents’ status was nowhere near that of my parents, so I wasn’t permitted to play with them. My parents were presented at court when I was six, and they never forgot it._

_Everything changed when I was three. My mother had another child, a little boy named Philip. I don’t know why God saw more in him than He did in me, because he literally lived a charmed life. My parents doted on him, were absolutely besotted by him. He had black curls and brown eyes so dark they were almost black as well. His face was chubby and dimpled, and even when he screamed the walls down everyone loved him. I didn’t know what I did wrong to make my parents ignore me while they fell over themselves to take care of Philip, and for quite a few years I resented him. I tried so hard to get their attention, either positive or negative, but it didn’t work. I hated him and he knew it, I suppose. When he was seven and I was ten, he said to me, “Harry, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did. I don’t know what to do to make them stop loving me so much, and to make you love me more.” Even then, at such a young age, he was brilliant. I realized that it wasn’t his fault, that he’d done nothing except be himself. It wasn’t his fault that everyone loved him. And from that day on, I loved him as well. I was his champion in all things, and he was the adoring little brother who followed in my shadow, no matter what._

_I will speak more of him later. It’s a sensitive subject, but one I promise to return to at a later time._

 

Eggsy yawns and rubs at his eyes. He’s exhausted and knows he needs to go to bed. He doesn’t want to be so invested in Harry’s life story; what does he care? But he takes care of JB’s needs, cleans up the kitchen, and goes up to bed with the journal under his arm. A few more pages before bed won’t hurt.

 

_Needless to say I was sent away to school as soon as I was old enough. It was very difficult for me, as I was quite shy due to the lack of attention at home. It was also hard to say goodbye to Philip, to whom I was growing closer every day. But I went, because I didn’t have a choice. I played all the appropriate sports, although I excelled at nothing except boxing and fencing. I’m sure that’s no surprise to you, my boy. I made a few friends and was a good student. Not because of any brilliance on my part, but because I often had nothing else to do but study. I was always interested in drama and dreamt of trying out for a part in our theatricals…but I knew my parents would be horrified. A Hart would never go on the stage. Ironic that the job I’ve held for most of my adult life has required me to consistently play a part, take on a false persona._

_The first time I had sex with a female was at the age of fourteen. Yes, you read that correctly. One of my schoolmates invited me to his home for the weekend…his family was having a shooting party and he wanted someone there his own age. I met his sister, a charming girl of sixteen. She saw something in me that she liked and made sure to be at my side throughout the festivities. I was still quite shy, even though I knew I wasn’t unattractive, so I welcomed the attention. Before I knew it she snuck me up to her bedroom while everyone else was down at the stables. As you can imagine, I was quite uneducated and nervous, but she was not. She even had the proper protection with her. At that age I wasn’t even sure where to procure such a thing. It was over quite quickly, which disappointed her, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. I was more concerned about my friend thinking I made moves on his sister, but if he knew about it he never said anything to me. It happened twice more, on other visits to his home, but nothing ever came of it. Last I heard she was married to a barrister and living in Bath. This was also the last time I had sex with a woman outside of the job. I knew even then that it wasn’t what I wanted, although I couldn’t tell anyone that._

_I don’t know that you realize how lucky you are, Eggsy, to have grown up in the time and society that we’re in now. There are laws in place to protect the well-being and property of gay and lesbian citizens. There are support groups at the schools and in the communities. I had none of that. I would have suffered at the hands of my schoolmates if I’d have even hinted that I considered homosexuality as a lifestyle choice. Almost everyone experimented; anyone that tells you otherwise is a liar or a fool. I desperately wanted to be happy, wanted to be in a loving relationship. But it didn’t seem to be in my future. I was hungry for love, but I knew I would more than likely never find it. I was destined for a marriage to a woman I might respect but never love, and whom I would most definitely never desire._

 

Eggsy forces himself to put the journal on his nightstand and get under the covers. He was tired and couldn’t read another word, but his mind was racing as he settled in. He’d never thought of it that way. Homosexual men and women of Harry’s generation were almost forced to live in the closet. They couldn’t hold each other’s hands or give goodbye kisses. Eggsy wasn’t big on public displays of affection, but if they were out for tea and Harry wanted to hold his hand, Eggsy wasn’t going to stop him. He fell asleep with Harry on his mind, imagining a pretty young man with dark curly hair, sitting in a corner at school and watching the world go by.

As soon as Eggsy’s eyes flutter open the next morning, they’re drawn to Harry’s journal. He makes himself ignore it, taking care of all his morning duties and drinking two cups of tea before bringing it downstairs. He even goes for a run before he allows himself to curl up on the sofa and open it once more.

 

_Dearest Eggsy – I will jump ahead in time a bit, but all things in the middle will be addressed, I assure you. I only hope you’re still reading this far. Of course my parents wanted me to go to Oxford, and I easily passed the entrance examinations. Instead I chose a military career. I wanted to serve, even then. I wanted to make the world a better place. I entered the army and eventually ended up in the RMAC. I knew I didn’t want to be an actual doctor, seeing patients and such, but I wanted to help people. Now you know why I’m so good at stitching my own wounds. It was there that I learned about Kingsman. I was off duty, walking to dinner in London when I saw two men drag a third into an alley. They were kicking and punching the third man, telling him of their plans to rob him and use the information in his wallet to rob his home as well. I intervened before I knew what was happening, making quick work of the two hellions and tending to the wounds of the man on the ground. Another man appeared out of nowhere, an attractive man in a beautiful grey bespoke suit. And yes, before you make fun of me, I most definitely did note his attractiveness as well as the gorgeous suit. He introduced himself as Bedivere, and asked me if I wanted to go on the most dangerous job interview I’d ever know. I hesitated only briefly, worried about my position in the Army. He promised me he’d take care of everything, and he did. And the rest, as they say, is history._

_I’m sure you probably think that my rise through the ranks of Kingsman was an easy one. You probably assume that I did everything perfectly, but that is so far from the truth. I’ll defer to Merlin on this point and give permission for you to ask him about my early years with the organization. I was simply dreadful. I was nervous, afraid that I’d do something to lose my place here, and to cover all that I acted like a complete and utter arse. I was rude to the support staff and went out of my way on missions to draw attention to myself. Believe it or not, Chester King was quite understanding. This was before age and weariness clouded his judgment. He sat me down and made me see that the only way I’d leave Kingsman was in a body bag if I continued my current course. I settled down, got to know the support staff as well as more experienced agents, and I learned to be the Galahad you met that day outside the police station._

_My darling boy – I hope you do not mind me calling you that. I’ve been trying very hard to keep this objective, but it’s how you are in my mind even now…my sweet and darling boy. I’m very thankful you had your letters to help deal with the emotions and pain in your life. You thought no one would read your writings except you, and I write TO you, but it is quite cathartic to me…but painful as well. I need you to know all of me, however. I WANT you to know it._

_This is one part of this length diatribe that I hope you will appreciate and welcome. I wish to speak of your father. No matter what you think about your past actions, Eggsy Unwin, know that your father loved you more than anything in the world. He spoke constantly of his little boy. He joined Kingsman for two reasons. First of all, he wanted to know that he had a constant salary, money that could support you and your mother. Secondly, he wanted to help shape a world that would be safe and happy for his son. He spoke of you so often, told stories about your athletic prowess, how even at a young age you’d tumble about your flat like a little bear, making he and your mother laugh. He spoke of how bright you were, telling us that you learned your alphabet at age three-and-a-half, and that you were on your way to reading when he went off on that last mission. To hear him tell it, you were Churchill and Einstein wrapped into a flexible little package._

_As you know, Eggsy, my greatest regret in life is that I absolutely did not see the actions that took your father’s life. I lost focus for just a moment, and that loss of focus was enough to change your life forever. I can only apologize so much, but please know that I apologize to him as well as you every day. I told you once that everything I’d done for you was to make up for my mistakes. If your father was here now, I would fall to his feet and beg forgiveness. I would then apologize for breaking the heart of the son he loved so much. I know I don’t deserve his forgiveness, or yours. But I would ask for it._

 

It’s not until the words blur on the page that Eggsy realizes he’s crying. He closes the journal and clutches it to his chest, hugging it and staring into space. He sits that way for quite some time until JB jumps onto the sofa and licks his face. “Yeah, m’fine. How about we go for a walk, boy?” JB eagerly spins in circles and heads for his leash.

 

_My dearest Eggsy – You left today for Athens and I feel your absence keenly, even though you are currently not speaking to me. I know you are a good agent, and you do your best to keep yourself safe…although your multiple visits to medical after missions do not show it. I really have no room to talk. I was quite a regular visitor to medical myself._

_Sitting next to your bed while you were in the coma…that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I was already head over heels in love with you, you see, and I was so afraid you’d die without me ever telling you. Every word I said about that was true. I’d noticed your physical beauty immediately. Only a blind man wouldn’t. But you are so much more than that. Your cheeky demeanor, the way you absolutely cannot refrain from a smart remark or quip. The way you feel the need to push the boundaries of what’s considered good behavior, just because it limits you. But what I loved more about you, from almost the beginning, was your generous heart. I found you after an accident that happened because you tried to avoid killing a defenseless animal. You took the blame to save your friends. You helped Roxanne through her fears, even when you were falling through the sky to certain death. And I won’t even begin to go into the way you cared for me, both while I was in my own coma and when I didn’t have my memory. Who wouldn’t see a person like you and fall in love with them?_

_I will concede one point – I probably never would have said anything about my feelings if I hadn’t read your letters. I knew you’d never possibly be interested in me. I had a small hint you were interested in men in general but wasn’t sure, but even if you were, why would you want a broken man, someone so much older, someone you’d easily outlive? When I read of your feelings for me…I cannot adequately put into words how that made me feel. My heart literally leapt in my chest. I went to the mirror and stared at myself, trying to see what you saw in me. The way you spoke of me, that I was someone to admire and lust after…that you wanted me to be the first man you were with physically. I couldn’t believe it. And when you accepted the invitation for that first date, I still felt as if I was living a dream._

_I must go…I’m already late for work, as if it’s a surprise to you. I could write to you for hours. I HAVE written to you for hours, as the cramps in my hand could tell you. It’s good that I stop here, because the story will go to a place I’ve been avoiding. You worry that I judge you for your past behaviors. Trust me when I tell you I fear your judgment after you read some of mine._


	11. Chapter 11

“Come in.”

Eggsy pokes his head into Merlin’s office. “Hey, Merlin, ya gotta minute?”

“Of course, Eggsy. Come in.” Merlin waves him in. “I haven’t really gotten started yet. I’m quite surprised to see you this early during your down time.”

“Yeah, I know. I wanted ta come in an’ out without a lot of fuss.”

“You didn’t want to run into Harry,” Merlin says with a grin.

“Well, yeah, that, too. Can I make tea?”

“Please do.” Merlin leans back in his chair and watches him. “Thank you,” he says when Eggsy finally hands him a cup. “Take a seat. What can I do for you?”

“Had some questions about ‘arry.” Merlin nods. “I guess ya know he wrote to me…ya delivered it an’ all.”

“I figured that was what it was, although I know better than to go into someone’s private things. Unlike other people we both know.” He winks at Eggsy. 

“Harry…he said that he was pretty much a pompous arse when he was a young agent?”

“Oh, lad.” Merlin rolls his eyes. “You do not know the half of it. I was just a tech person back then, nowhere near the amazing figure you see before you now.” Eggsy snorts and Merlin glares at him. “He treated us all like we were nothing. We were there to bend to his every whim, and that was about it. He completely ignored the fact that it was our work that kept him safe in the field. And Christ…what a fucking peacock.” Merlin smiles fondly at the memory. “He worked so hard to make everyone sit up and take notice, not realizing that just by doing the job well he was making everyone take notice.”

“Huh.” Eggsy sips at his tea. “Guess I always just figured he showed up here an’ did everything right.”

“NO one does that, Eggsy. I know you’ve had a bit of hero worship going on when it comes to Harry as Galahad. I don’t blame you. The Galahad you knew was a truly spectacular agent. But just as you have things in your past that have forged you into what you are now…Harry has some stories as well.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s what’s in that book…Harry’s past.”

“I see.” There’s a troubled look in Merlin’s eyes. “He doesn’t judge you for anything he’s learned about you, Eggsy. I ask that you do the same.”

“Course,” Eggsy says, more curious than ever.

 

_My dearest Eggsy – Even before those times with my friend’s sister, I knew that I was interested in men. It was quite difficult for me, being in constant close quarters with so many other attractive young men. As I mentioned before, there was a lot of experimenting at boarding school. You might not make it a lifestyle choice, but you wouldn’t say no to a handsome peer fondling you behind the gymnasium, or something like that. I myself didn’t have any of those experiences…I was quite awkward in my early teen years. It wasn’t until I was fifteen or so that other boys started to take notice. I had my first kiss with another boy when I was barely sixteen._

_There was one boy I was especially attracted to, one of the props on the rugby team. He had sandy blond hair and bright blue eyes, and he was particularly athletic and fit, of course. I suppose I have a type, now that I think about it. He was a year ahead of me, a popular boy with a rakish grin. I looked at him and my stomach literally flipped upside down. His name was Robert. He started noticing me as well, sending smiles and winks in my direction whenever we passed. My first crush._

_By this time Philip was also attending my school, a few years behind me, of course. He was already popular, an athletic boy who could sing very well. Mother and Father had NO problem with him joining the school music groups. A Hart who could sing was completely acceptable, but only if that Hart was the beloved second son. I didn’t mind, as I still loved Philip as only an older brother could. We didn’t run in the same circles, although our paths crossed quite often and we managed to spend time together at least two evenings a week, studies permitting. He didn’t know about my interest in Robert or any other boy, and I planned on keeping it that way. He wasn’t naïve by any means, but it wasn’t a subject I felt I could discuss with him quite yet._

_Our rugby team won the local championship, and there was a bonfire afterwards at a student’s home in the area. It seemed that everyone in the school was there…but the boy’s parents were not. Beer and alcohol flowed as easily as logs were put on the bonfire, and soon Robert was paying special attention to me. The hour was late, and Philip and I were supposed to be on the road to home for the weekend. I was to drive; my parents had allowed me to purchase a car and keep it for such trips. Just as Robert was whispering in my ear about an empty bedroom in the house, Philip approached and asked if it was time for us to leave. He was tired and we had a forty minute drive. I snapped at him, telling him I was busy and he should either wait for me or find another way home. Robert’s hand was actually on my arse by this time and I could focus on little else. Philip sadly went away, and as Robert and I headed for the house, he came running back to tell me he’d found a ride with a classmate of mine who lived within miles of our home. I said fine, just go in the house quietly so Mother and Father don’t know I didn’t drive you back._

_It was the last time I ever spoke to him. The classmate driving the car with Philip and another student was far too drunk to drive. While I was upstairs in a strange bedroom with Robert’s dick in my arse, getting fucked for the very first time by someone who never spoke to me again after that night, that car skidded off the road, rolled down the embankment and ended up against a tree. The driver survived. Philip and the other student did not._

 

Harry hums as he makes tea, enjoying the sound of the wind and the rain against the kitchen window. He’s always liked the sounds of a storm, the way it made him want to curl up and nest. He’d purchased a new detective novel the day before, and this seemed like the perfect time to start reading it. Dark and stormy night, after all.

A knock at his door makes him jump. He doesn’t have many friends that would stop over, and they definitely wouldn’t stop over without calling first, since Harry was so frequently out of town. He reaches for a gun and then rolls his eyes. Anyone looking to harm him wouldn’t knock at the door. He grabs the gun anyway.

“Eggsy!” He gasps in astonishment. “What are you doing here?”

“Rainin’ cats an’ dogs, bruv, do ya mind?” Water streams from Eggsy’s hair as well as his face. “Got this soaked just runnin’ up from tha cab, didn’t I?”

“My apologies. Of course, come in.” Harry steps aside. “Would you…just wait here.” He ignores the way Eggsy’s shirt is plastered to his strong chest. He ignores the urge to lick every drop of water from Eggsy’s skin. Instead he hurries upstairs and returns with a towel and his own red dressing gown. “Why don’t you…uh…I’ll go back to the kitchen. You dry off and change here. Bring me your clothing and we can put it in the dryer.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Eggsy doesn’t explain the reason for his visit, just looks at Harry with water dripping from his eyelashes. Harry forces his feet to move towards the kitchen.

He’s pouring a second cup of tea when Eggsy appears with his clothing and the towel. “Excellent. Please, fix your tea and have a seat.”

“Thanks.” He hands over his bundle and sits as Harry goes to the dryer. 

When he returns, Eggsy’s prepared both their cups the way they like it. Harry’s heart leaps just a little at the kind gesture. “May I offer you something to eat?”

“Nah, I’m good, thanks.” Eggsy stirs his tea for a long time. Harry bites down on the words that keep threatening to escape, focusing on his own cup. “Yer brother died.”

Harry’s head whips up. “Yes,” he says softly.

“Ya never told me. Never mentioned yer brother or yer parents or nothin’. They still livin’?”

“No,” Harry answers quietly. “They passed within two years of each other. I’d say…five or six years ago? Needless to say we weren’t close. We never were, but Philip’s death made it worse. They blamed me, of course.”

“Why didn’t ya tell me about yer family?”

“I kept our relationship professional for a reason, Eggsy. If I started opening up to you about my family, I’d just keep going. I’d tell you everything…things I didn’t think you were interested in hearing. And then once we were together…” Harry shrugs. “There wasn’t really a good time. And obviously it’s not something I really prefer to discuss.”

“How many relationships ya had, ‘arry?”

Harry blinks. He wasn’t expecting that question. “Serious relationships that have gone past a few dates? One…perhaps two. Once I was a Kingsman agent, of course, dating got a bit more difficult. It was always just for fun, very temporary.”

“I don’t think that’s it at all. I think ya felt so guilty about what happened that ya never wanted a relationship. Ya thought ya didn’t deserve it.” Harry stares at him. Eggsy’s eyes are unwavering as they look at him. “Cuz that’s what I would think. Fuck, Haz, how tha hell did ya get over that? How’d ya live through it?” Harry stares in shock as Eggsy reaches over to take his hand. “Ya was probably scared as shite, right? Fit young bloke lookin’ ta shag ya, you was probably goin’ mad wantin’ him. Ya sent yer little brother on his way, thinkin’ ya’d only hafta come up with a good excuse if they saw him comin’ home alone.”

“But he never came home,” Harry says faintly. He remembers it all, how he’d come down to breakfast the next morning, limping down the stairs but unable to disclose the reason for his soreness. Philip’s chair was empty, and just as his mother demanded to know why he hadn’t looked after his brother, the constable had knocked on the door. 

“Him dyin’ weren’t yer fault, ‘arry,” Eggsy says quietly. “You was young. You was doin’ what any bloke yer age woulda done.”

“I should have looked into it…should have checked who he was riding with.”

“Ya said ya knew tha guy, that he lived in tha area. Weren’t a stranger. He was what…fourteen or fifteen? Old enough ta find his own way home, I’d say.”

Harry sipped at his tea, unsure what to say. “He’s the reason I went into the military,” he says finally. “Philip was planning on becoming a doctor. Of course my parents were over the moon about it. Their brilliant boy, a doctor. I knew I’d never make it through medical school, so I did the next best thing…went into the medical corps.”

“He’d be proud of ya, Haz.”

“Your father would be proud of you.” Harry meets Eggsy’s gaze. “Doesn’t matter what happened in the past. He’d be proud of the way you protected your mother, and even your sister, although she wasn’t his. He’d be so very proud of your success at Kingsman. Most of all, he’d be proud of the man you’ve become, the warm and generous soul that has persevered even after everything you’ve been through. What you were…it’s nothing because of who you are now.”

“Couldn’t ya say tha same, ‘arry? You didn’t put yer brother in that car. Ya didn’t push it off tha road. But ya did work hard ta make him proud. Ya served yer country, both in the military an’ at Kingsman. An’ ya saved countless people with what you’ve done.”

“Thank you, Eggsy. I appreciate that. And thank you…thank you for reading what I wrote. I just wanted you to see that you’re not the only one with skeletons in his closet.”

“Not quite tha same,” Eggsy says wryly. “I made my choices. You didn’t.”

“You made your choices, but you HAD no other choices,” Harry insists. He clutches Eggsy’s hand in both of his. “Eggsy, you faced adversity and made your choices work for you. Me? I ran off to the military, living the life my brother should have had…but I couldn’t even do THAT right. I didn’t go to university, to medical school. I didn’t even TRY.”

“Harry, listen ta me.” Eggsy doesn’t pull his hand away. “If it wasn’t fer you, one of two things woulda happened. I woulda died before I was thirty, or I woulda turned into Dean. I know ya don’t wanna see that, but it’s true.”

They look at each other for a long moment before Harry says, “I’m very sorry I read your journal, Eggsy. It was horrible of me, an incredible invasion of your privacy. I promise never to do anything like that ever again, if I’m given the opportunity to be a part of your life…even if it’s just as your friend.” The thought absolutely kills him, but he means what he says.

“I’m sorry I said ya was only lookin’ ta get laid. Know yer not like that…wouldn’t ever do that.” Eggsy blushes a bit. “Was just so damn ashamed.”

“Eggsy, my darl…Eggsy,” Harry amends. “Believe me when I say I do not judge you in any way for what you might have done in your past. As I said, it’s made you the amazing man you are now.”

“Believe ME when I say it’s not yer fault, yer brother didn’t die because of you, an’ I don’t judge YOU,” Eggsy says firmly. Harry makes a face but says nothing. The circumstances surrounding his brother are something he’ll always have with him, but also something he’s learned to deal with. “Ya really…ya really think my dad would be proud of me?”

“Oh, Eggsy, I’m sure of it. I know how proud he was when you learned the alphabet…imagine how proud he’d be knowing you saved the world.” Harry slowly brings Eggsy’s hands to his mouth and kisses them. The dryer buzzes and they both jump. “Well, I’ll get you your clothes, then.”

“No, I’ll get them.” Eggsy goes to the laundry room and changes there. “Thanks.” He hands Harry his dressing gown. It takes everything Harry has in him not to press the red fabric to his face and inhale Eggsy’s scent. “I’ll be going, then.”

“Let me call you a cab.” Harry touches the side of his glasses and requests a car. He walks Eggsy to the door to wait.

“I’m sorry I didn’t let ya explain,” Eggsy says in a tiny voice. Harry opens his mouth to protest but Eggsy holds up a hand. “I was just so afraid of losin’ ya…but me actin’ like that pushed ya away.” Harry literally bites his tongue to keep from arguing. “I’d like ta make it up to ya. Still on official post-mission leave…could maybe take ya ta dinner tomorrow night?”

“I’d like that very much,” Harry whispers, his entire body quivering with hope.

“Pick ya up at six?”

“I could meet you after work.”

“Nah, I’ll pick ya up,” Eggsy says with a smile. “That way I know ya won’t be late.”

“Cheeky boy.” But Harry’s smiling as well. He looks out the window and sees the headlights of the Kingsman cab. He hands Eggsy his spare Rainmaker. “I cannot believe you left the house without an umbrella.”

“I was a bit distracted,” Eggsy says with a shrug. He pauses then stands on tiptoe. “Lookin’ forward to tomorrow night.” He kisses Harry’s cheek and opens the door.

“Myself as well. Good night, Eggsy. Please…text me and let me know you’ve arrived home safely?”

“Of course. Good night, Haz.” 

Harry’s on his way upstairs to bed when his phone pings. _Home safe and sound. JB says hi._

_Tell Mr. Bauer hello from me as well. I miss him,_ Harry adds almost as an afterthought.

_He misses u as well. Da don’t give him treats the way Uncle Harry does._ Harry chuckles at that. Eggsy continues, _Thx 4 letting me in. Didn’t have 2, the way I treated u._

_I would never turn you away, no matter what. Especially when you’re dripping wet on my front step._

_Filthy old man,_ Eggsy responds, along with an emoji of a face with its tongue sticking out. Harry hadn’t meant anything naughty by his comment, but if Eggsy wants to read it that way, he won’t stop him.

_Indeed._

_Sweet dreams, Haz._

_To you as well…my darling boy._


	12. Chapter 12

TWELVE

Harry is ready at 5:55. Eggsy knocks on his door at 5:58. “Hello, my boy. You look quite handsome.”

Eggsy blushes and smooths his hand down his wine-colored button down. “Thanks. Don’t need a suit where we’re goin’, but I knew you’d wear one an’ I didn’t wanna embarrass ya.”

“You never could.” Harry hesitates before kissing Eggsy’s cheek. “I mean it. You look exceptional.”

“Thanks.” Eggsy blushes a bit more. “Ready, then?”

Harry follows him out and locks the door. “I don’t see a cab…”

“Car’s right here.” Eggsy motions to a beautiful smoke grey Mercedes.

“Is that a Kingsman vehicle.”

“Yes,” Eggsy says innocently. “I told Merlin I needed it ta escort Arthur this evening an’ he signed off on it.”

“I think I need to speak to him about that.”

“I think ya don’t.” Eggsy holds the passenger door open and Harry slides in. Eggsy takes his place behind the wheel. “Figured ya deserved the personal treatment, not just another cab.”

“Thank you,” Harry says, pleased that Eggsy’s put so much thought into their evening. 

They make small talk on their way through the city until Eggsy pulls into the valet area of a posh hotel. “Heard the restaurant here’s fuckin’ aces,” he tells Harry. “Thought we could try it.”

“Are you sure?” Harry looks at the hotel and frowns. The lobby is bigger than Eggsy’s original home with his mother and everything is decorated in marble or gold or both.

“Yeah, Haz, though I know what yer doin’. Ya think this isn’t my kinda place.” Eggsy smiles sadly. “Wouldn’t have been, once upon a time. But you deserve tha best, an’ this is pretty damn close. Plus I went online an’ checked tha menu…found three things I’d probably like.”

“You’ve thought of everything.” Harry climbs out and waits for Eggsy to slip the keys to the valet.

They approach the front podium. “Good evening, gentlemen,” the maitre’d says.

“Evening. Reservation for two under Unwin?” Eggsy says. Harry notices that Eggsy’s slipped into his posh Kingsman accent. He wonder if Eggsy even realizes he’s doing it.

“Oh yes. Right this way.” The maitre’d snaps his fingers and a host comes over with menus and starts to lead them to their table.

“So, are you and your father in town on business or for sight-seeing?” The host asks.

Eggsy immediately reaches back and grabs Harry’s hand. “My BOYFRIEND and I live here, actually. We’re simply here on a date.” He kisses Harry’s knuckles and gives the man what Harry knows is his deadliest smile. “But thank you for asking.”

“My apologies,” the man murmurs. “Here is your table. Enjoy your evening.”

“Sorry…ya probably think I shouldn’t have gotten so cheeky with him,” Eggsy says, blushing a bit as they sit.

“No, I think you held your temper admirably, and behaved much better than I would have if he’d have spoken to me,” Harry says. He flips his napkin onto his lap and looks at Eggsy. “I’m your boyfriend?”

“I, well…yes.” Eggsy’s flustered and Harry wants to kiss him. “I mean, we’re just, you know, talkin’ things over, but yes?”

“There’s no question in my mind,” Harry says softly and Eggsy gives him a beautiful smile. “Now…shall I order wine, or are you in charge tonight?”

“Definitely not in charge of wine. But I think I’ll just have water. Want a clear head tonight.”

“Then I believe I’ll just have a drink and be done with it.” He sets the wine list aside and picks up the menu.

The waiter arrives and they order drinks, and when he returns they order their food. Eggsy toys with one of his forks. “It means a lot ta me that ya told me what ya did in that journal. Ya didn’t hafta do that.”

Harry desperately wants to hold Eggsy’s hand. He looks around and realizes he doesn’t care what one person thinks of him in this restaurant. He reaches across the table and Eggsy eagerly responds. “My boy, you gave all of yourself in your letters, and I took it without your permission. The least I could do was give you every part of me in return.”

“I cried more than once readin’ that, Haz. Thank ya.” Eggsy swallows hard. “What ya said about my dad…Christ.”

“All true, my boy, I promise.”

They look at each other for a long moment. “Want ya ta know somethin’,” Eggsy says finally. “Haven’t done drugs in a long time.”

“Eggsy…”

“Lemme speak. Just…haven’t even wanted ta touch ‘em, except…except maybe when I thought you was dead, when I saw ya die.” Eggsy slowly pulls his hand away. “I’ve never felt like that before, an’ fuck tha pills woulda helped. But I wasn’t goin’ back down there…figured it wasn’t no way ta honor yer memory. Won’t ever do that again, swear down.”

“Eggsy,” Harry says gently, and something in his voice must settle something in Eggsy, because he slowly gives Harry his hand again. “I would never judge you for that. I cannot even begin to imagine what your life was like. I’m just happy you found something else to help you deal with things when they get too bad, because you are worth so much more.”

Their food arrives and they regretfully sit back. Everything is excellent, and Eggsy almost licks his plate clean. “Dessert?” The waiter asks. “We have an incredible crème brulee.”

“I can’t find room for one bite more.” Eggsy sighs and rubs at his stomach.

“And I really am not interested in the time at the gym it will require. So thank you, but no.”

“The check, please,” Eggsy says, making sure the waiter knows he’s taking care of the bill. Harry can’t help but smile.

 

They make small talk on the way back to Harry’s house and Eggsy doesn’t want the evening to end. He desperately wants to ask Harry if he can move back but he doesn’t want to rush things. He won’t mention it…it will be up to Harry to make that move.

As soon as he stops the car in front of Harry’s house he jumps out and runs around the car. “What are you doing?” Harry asks as Eggsy opens his door and waits for him to step out of the car.

“Walkin’ ya to yer door, of course,” Eggsy tells him. He grins as Harry dips his head and blushes a bit. “I can be a gentleman too, ya know.”

“I do know.” Harry takes Eggsy’s hand and they go up the walk to his door. He unlocks it and motions for Eggsy to come in. “Thank you for a wonderful evening.”

“Yer welcome.”

They look at each other for a long moment before Harry cups Eggsy’s face in his slender fingers. “May I?”

“Please do,” Eggsy whispers. Harry’s lips are on his and suddenly he can’t think about anything else. His arms slide under Harry’s coat and around his waist, gently tugging Harry until they’re pressed against one another. Eggsy slowly moves them back so he can lean against the closed door, Harry’s body lined up perfectly with his own.

“Now THAT was a good night kiss,” Harry murmurs, kissing Eggsy’s cheeks, his forehead, his nose.

Eggsy buries his face in Harry’s shoulder and tries to catch his breath. He knows they should probably take things slow, that they should talk some more, figure out exactly what they are and what they want. But he doesn’t care. He’s been waiting his whole life for someone to make him feel the way Harry does, and harry doesn’t seem to want to let him go anytime soon. “Hey…my dates are fuckin’ aces beginning ta end,” he says and Harry snickers.

“Do you have an idea for our next date or is it my turn?” Harry pulls away and gently brushes some of Eggsy’s hair from his face.

“I thought you could come see my new place. Maybe bring dinner…” Eggsy tilts his head so he can catch Harry’s fingertips and kiss them. “…and an overnight bag.”

Something smolders in Harry’s eyes and Eggsy recognizes it. He has the same heat burning in his groin right about now. “I would like to see your flat,” Harry says. “And we haven’t had Thai for ever so long.”

“Sounds perfect.” He regretfully gives Harry one more kiss and pushes him away. “But I should get going.”

“Right.” But Harry shows no signs of wanting to get out of Eggsy’s way so they can open the door. He leans in and nuzzles a bit along the side of Eggsy’s neck.

“Haz.” Eggsy groans and pulls Harry in for a hard kiss. “Gotta…fuck, gotta go.” He whimpers as Harry finds that spot on the side of his neck again. 

“No one’s keeping you here.” Harry’s hands settle on Eggsy’s hips as he kisses him again.

“Evil bastard.” Eggsy bites at Harry’s bottom lip. “Ya sorta ARE keepin’ me here, ‘arry.”

“Very well.” Harry steps away, takes Eggsy’s hand and kisses it. He then presses his lips to the inside of Eggsy’s wrist, making him shudder. “Til tomorrow then.”

“Yeah,” Eggsy says absently, watching Harry nibble at his arm. “I mean, yes. Good night.” He turns his face up and Harry gives him a sweet kiss.

“Good night, my darling boy.”


	13. Chapter 13

THIRTEEN

Harry’s a little nervous as he knocks on the door of Eggsy’s flat. It’s in a nice neighborhood, nowhere near as quaint and posh as Harry’s, but the streets are quiet and the buildings are well cared for. He has a sack of food in one hand, and the requested overnight bag in the other. He’s so afraid of rushing Eggsy, of pushing him further than he’s really ready for. It’s not like Eggsy’s truly a virgin; he’s had sex with women and has done things with men, to a point. It’s the actual act that is new to him, and Harry vows that if things go there tonight, he’ll allow Eggsy to set the pace.

“Hey,” Eggsy says shyly as he opens the door. “Welcome.”

“Thank you.” Harry steps in and sweetly kisses him.

“Mmm, maybe you should come in again,” Eggsy says with a grin. 

“Hello, Mr. Bauer,” Harry says to the ball of fur yapping at his feet. “So good to see you again.”

Eggsy takes the overnight bag and blushes a bit. “I’ll, uh, set this in the bedroom. Kitchen’s around the corner, afraid we have to eat in there.” He motions with his chin and Harry heads for the tiny kitchen.”

The flat is nice and clean, although it barely looks lived in. Other than a few of Daisy’s drawings on the refrigerator, the kitchen is undecorated. “This is nice,” Harry says when Eggsy appears behind him. 

“Does the job…got a bed, a fridge, a loo. Not home, though, not really.” Eggsy looks at Harry and bites his bottom lip.

“So.” Harry busies himself with the food. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“Famished.” Eggsy gets them each a plate and a drink. “Sittin’ around here doin’ absolutely nothin’ really works up an appetite.”

“You deserve a break after a mission like that. Mentally, if not physically. You need to take care of yourself.”

“Yes, sir,” Eggsy says with a mock salute. “So…spoke with Daisy today. She wants ta know when yer comin’ ta take her to tha park again.”

“Really?” Harry’s pleased. He enjoys his time with Eggsy’s little sister but never felt she cared one way or another if he was around. Her focus is always on Eggsy…not that Harry can blame her.

“Yes. She says you play zoo better than anyone else.” Eggsy’s face is a wreath of amusement. “Care ta share with tha class?”

“Oh. Well, yes. She was making animal noises and I had to instruct her on how to do them properly. She then decided we were a zoo…and I ended up doing noises I didn’t realize I could do.”

Eggsy laughs so hard he almost falls out of his chair. “Fuck, ‘arry, why you always do that stuff when I’m not around?”

“I do that on purpose. I don’t need photographic evidence, and I knew you’d have your phone out immediately. I swear that thing is surgically attached to your hand.”

“Nice to have somethin’ ta look at when I’m away, innit?” Eggsy murmurs, suddenly serious. “When you…when you was gone, when I thought you was dead, I woulda given anything ta have pictures of ya on my phone. That’s why I take so many.”

“Take as many as you like, my boy.” Harry reaches out and touches his hand. “Just not when I’m playing zoo with your sister.”

“Try and stop me,” Eggsy says with a grin.

They finish eating and Eggsy wraps up the leftovers. He rinses their plates and glasses and leaves them in the sink. “I’m ready for the grand tour,” Harry announces, washing his hands.

Eggsy snorts. “Hope ya blocked a lotta time in yer schedule.” He takes Harry’s hand and leads him down the hall a few steps. “Living room.” He goes to the next door. “Loo an’ bath.” He goes a bit further and opens a door. “My bedroom.”

Harry pokes his head in. “Very nice.” He’s shocked at how drab and impersonal the flat is. Eggsy’d spread himself all over Harry’s house, which had annoyed him at first but soon he loved it. He’d missed having Eggsy’s trainers everywhere, his jumpers, JB’s toys. There’s hardly anything in this flat that gives a hint as to the personality of the man living there. “I’m impressed. The bed is made and your clothing’s put away.”

“Well, I knew I was havin’ a guest, an’ that we’d end up in here.” He slides his hands into his back pockets and looks nervous. “At least I hoped we would.”

“Eggsy, we don’t have to…”

“I WANT to, Haz.” Eggsy pulls Harry in by the jacket and shuts the bedroom door. “Ain’t like I never been with anyone before, but…I wanna do this. With you.”

“Oh, Eggsy.” Harry kisses him, sweet tender kisses that leave them both sighing as they pull apart. “I hate to sound overly romantic, but I feel so honored.”

“Know you’ll take care of me,” Eggsy says. He slides the jacket from Harry’s body. 

“Always.” They don’t speak as they start to undress one another, hands roaming over familiar territory. Eggsy goes into the nightstand and comes out with a condom and lubricant.

“We don’t need this, ya know. I’m clean an’…”

“No, we need it.” Harry plucks the condom from Eggsy’s fingers and toys with the package as he speaks. “Not that I don’t believe you,” he says quickly at the hurt look on Eggsy’s face. “But because it will just go better for you the first time…easier.” He kisses Eggsy, his hand running through Eggsy’s hair. “I want this to go as well as possible for you.”

“It will, silly Haz, cuz it’s with you.”

If Harry’s heart didn’t completely belong to Eggsy already, it became his with that statement. Harry picks up the lube and puts it and the condom close by. He then takes Eggsy by the hand and leads him to the bed. He lays Eggsy down and climbs over him, loving the way their bodies fit together. “You’re so gorgeous, my boy.” He kisses Eggsy as his hands wander over the strong chest and stomach.

“Me? Yer fuckin’ perfect, Haz. Christ…so fit…legs that go on fer fuckin’ ever…” Eggsy groans as Harry’s mouth finds his nipples. His hands fist in Harry’s hair, pulling even as he holds his head down, urging him to continue. Harry takes a chance and bites down a bit. Eggsy yells, arching up and grabbing at Harry. “Fuck, ‘arry…”

“My boy liked that.” He moves to the side of the nipple and bites down again, sucking at Eggsy’s skin.

“Yes…yes he did,” Eggsy gasps. 

“I like leaving my marks on you.” Harry moves to just below Eggsy’s pectorals and bites again.

“Love that…want you ta fuckin’ mark me, Haz.” 

Harry continues down Eggsy’s body, kissing and leaving occasionally marks until his skin looks like plots on a map, dark love bites flowering along the way. He licks along the strong thighs and simply nibbles there. Eggsy’s a whimpering mess, arching and writhing under Harry’s mouth and hands. Harry turns him over and begins kissing down Eggsy’s back. “I want to taste every part of you,” he murmurs along Eggsy’s spine. “Lick you until you’re begging…has anyone ever done that for you, my darling boy?”

“N-no,” Eggsy whines.

“If you don’t like it…I’ll stop.” Harry makes his way down the strong back until he reaches the beautiful swell of Eggsy’s arse. He kneads it for a moment, kissing and gently biting. He spreads him and licks a line from Eggsy’s back to the base of his balls. Eggsy shivers and unconsciously lifts his hips, offering himself to Harry. “Oh, my beautiful boy.” 

“Harry…oh God…oh fuckin’ hell…” Eggsy moans as Harry flutters his tongue over his hole. Harry alternates movements, licking, sucking, actually kissing. “God…please, Harry…please…”

Harry uses one finger to slowly orbit the puckered entrance, very carefully pushing with just the tip. “Relax, my love.” He feels Eggsy’s body tense up and he moves to kiss Eggsy’s back and arse. The finger teases for a long time, occasionally pushing in just to the first joint. “How does that feel?”

“Weird, but good.”

Harry rolls Eggsy back over a bit, laying on his side next to him. Eggsy immediately goes in for a kiss, not even caring where Harry’s mouth has been. “You know, my love, we don’t have to do things this way. You could…you could be inside me.” It’s been a while since Harry’s been on the bottom, but he’ll do it. He’ll do anything for the young man laying next to him.

“Thanks, Haz, but I’ve been dreamin’ ‘bout this since pretty much the day I met ya, so no thanks.” Eggsy smiles up at him and wraps his arms around him. “Need ya, babe.”

Harry growls and fiercely kisses him, all tenderness gone. “I’ve been dreaming of it as well,” he admits as he works his way down Eggsy’s body again. This time he stops at Eggsy’s cock, now red and weeping against his stomach. He takes Eggsy in his mouth and Eggsy shouts his name. He slowly bends Eggsy’s legs up as he sucks him until Eggsy’s heels are back at his arse. Harry manages to open the lube and wet his fingers without letting go of Eggsy’s cock, and Eggsy barely reacts when the first finger starts working its way inside. “If you’re uncomfortable or don’t like it, you stop me,” Harry warns him, letting go of his cock with a lewd slurping sound.

“I trust ya.” Eggsy lets his head fall back onto the pillow. “I trust ya…oh FUCK was that…”

Harry chuckles as his finger finds the bundles of nerves. “Yes…yes, my boy…”

Harry takes his time, occasionally moving to kiss and suck on a hip bone as he gets the first finger all the way in and back out again. He tries not to tease, but it’s just so hard. Eggsy reacts to everything, arching and writhing and moaning as his chest and face flush with arousal. The second finger goes in easily, and Eggsy starts to rock his hips down to meet Harry’s hand. “Haz…fuck, so good…can’t wait ta have ya inside of me.”

“In due time, my love,” Harry promises. He refuses to rush this, wants it to be a good experience for him. 

“Harry,” Eggsy whines.

Harry’s own cock is a throbbing mess by now, precome dripping onto the sheets as he prepares Eggsy. He finally gets the third finger in and Eggsy starts begging. When he’s finally stretched to Harry’s satisfaction Harry pulls away and sits up. He opens the condom and slides it on, slathering probably more lube than necessary over his length. “It will hurt, my boy, even with the prep. But I’ll do my best to be gentle.” He leans over Eggsy’s body, kissing him as he takes himself in hand and starts to press inside.

“God.” Eggsy arches his back and moans. “You’re so big…holy fuck Haz it ain’t gonna fit…holy fuck…”

“Relax, my boy, relax,” Harry says. He desperately wants to hurry, to shove inside. Eggsy is hot and tight and the idea that he’s finally where he’s dreamt of being threatens to overload his senses. Eggsy’s fingernails dig into Harry’s back as he finally presses all the way in, his balls tight against Eggsy’s body. “That’s it…that’s it. Take a few deep breaths.”

“Haz…oh God…” He kisses Harry. “Can’t believe…holy fuck…”

Harry slowly pulls out and slides back in. Each stroke goes a little easier until Eggsy’s fully open for him, his tight body allowing Harry easier access. “I love you, my boy…I love you so much. You’re so perfect, so beautiful.” Harry kisses Eggsy’s neck, changing his angle a bit to hopefully make it better.

“Harry, I…” Eggsy’s body jerks. “Oh fuck right there.” Harry keeps himself at the exact same angle, exact same pace. “Fuck yeah…Harry…please…don’t stop…Jesus Christ…” Eggsy pants for breath, hands digging in but not clawing at Harry’s skin.

“That’s it…oh my gorgeous boy…” Harry allows himself to let go a bit, to push in harder and faster.

“Yes…yes, ‘arry…” Eggsy actually wraps his legs around Harry’s waist, heels digging in and urging him on. “Fuck me, ‘arry,” he commands, and Harry can only obey.

He buries his face in Eggsy’s chest, hips driving into him as hard as they can. Eggsy’s sobbing but Harry doesn’t see tears on his face. His hands slide up and down Harry’s sweaty back as he whispers filthy things in Harry’s ear. He feels a hand slide between them and grab for Eggsy’s cock. “Yes…yes that’s it, Eggsy, fuck yourself on my cock…touch yourself God you’re so gorgeous, so sinfully perfect.”

He watches the hand fly over Eggsy’s hard cock. “M’so close, Haz…so close…”

“Come for me my precious boy.” He bites down onto Eggsy’s chest and sucks hard and Eggsy comes. He comes hard and fast, drops hitting Harry on the chin.

“Fuck, Haz, I love you!” Eggsy shouts. 

Harry growls and drives into him one last time, pressing his face to Eggsy’s chest as he comes. “Eggsy…my Eggsy…” His body twitches but he doesn’t want to move. He wants to stay in this place forever, wrapped around this perfect creature. But he knows he’s heavy and regretfully pulls away.

“Ah…’arry…” Eggsy gasps.

“Quiet, my boy.” He kisses Eggsy’s nose and gets up. He disposes of the condom and goes back down the hall to the loo for a damp flannel. He cleans them both, tenderly wiping the remnants of Eggsy’s release from his body as he kisses him. He then situates them both under the covers.

They don’t speak for a long moment, Eggsy wrapped tightly in his arms and cocooned against his chest. “Was…was I any good?” A quiet voice says from under the covers.

“Were you any good?” Harry moves so he can see Eggsy’s face. “Are you quite daft, my boy? You were incredible. In case you missed it, I was quite mad with pleasure. I was probably rougher with you than I should have been, but you felt…amazing.” Words suddenly seem incapable of expressing Harry’s feelings.

“Ya can be rough with me, Haz. Ain’t gonna break.”

“Besides, it doesn’t matter if you were “any good” or not, because the primary issue here was you. Was it…was it what you expected?”

“No. Even better,” Eggsy promises, and Harry’s relieved. “Next time I’ll know just want ta do.”

“You don’t have to worry so much about that, my boy. We have forever to perfect it.”

“Forever,” Eggsy says with a grin. “Ya know, we’d probably perfect it a lot fuckin’ quicker if I lived closer.”

“Probably,” Harry muses, his face innocent even as his heart leaps. “I don’t know if there are any vacancies on my block, however.”

“Is there a vacancy in your bed?”

“Why yes…I do believe the other side has been vacant for quite some time.” Harry kisses him. “If you wish to return, that is.”

“More than anything.” Eggsy rolls on top of him and kisses him for a long time.

 

DEAR DAD – KNOW YOU AIN’T HEARD FROM ME IN A WHILE, BUT THAT’S BECAUSE I FOUND SOMEONE ELSE TO TALK TO, SOMEONE THAT WILL LISTEN TO ME. ME AND HARRY…WE’RE A THING NOW. AND I’M HAPPIER THAN I’VE EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE. THANKS FOR WATCHING OVER ME. EGGSY.

 

DEAR DAD – GUESS YA SAW THIS, AND PROBABLY HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT. IT’S ME AND HARRY’S ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TODAY, AND HE PROPOSED. YOUR BOY’S ACTUALLY GETTING MARRIED. IN CASE YOU CAN’T TELL BY MY MESSIER THAN USUAL HANDWRITING, I’M FUCKING EXCITED. I LOVE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING DAD. I HOPE YOU SEE THAT. AND HE LOVES ME. EGGSY.

 

DEAR DAD – IT’S OFFICIAL. HARRY’S MADE AN HONEST MAN OF YOUR BOY. I’M NOW EGGSY UNWIN-HART. WANTED TO TAKE HARRY’S NAME BUT I DIDN’T WANT TO LET OUR NAME GO. YOU’LL ALWAYS BE A PART OF ME. I WISH YOU WAS HERE TODAY, BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO SEE YOU STANDING WITH MUM BEHIND US WHEN WE WAS AT THE ALTAR. BUT I KNOW YOU WERE THERE. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. LOVE FROM EGGSY.


End file.
